[The reply comes after about 20 minutes, during which she read this twice.]
Holy shit, man, you're a really good writer, no wonder you had obsessive fans. Love the use of 'presages' next to 'overweight Darth Vader.' Two thumbs up.
Seriously, though, that is fuuuuuucked. Much as I'd hope the physical manifestation of death was that stupid, the whole massage oil and shirt off and erotic fanfiction thing is creepy as hell.
If you ever want to send me more of these things, I will DEVOUR them. Totally worth the popcorn.
[Then, after a few moments.]
All of that aside, I'm sorry that (almost) happened to you. Seriously messed up.
Of course. If you start one up here, I'll follow it immediately, I'd like to read about all the creepy adventures you have here. Hey, maybe I'll make an appearance!
You know what? I'm even MORE sorry about that, man.
It honestly seems pretty likely, considering this place doesn't seem any less crazy than the gas station was. Just... taller, and with a better custodial staff.
Looking forward to it. And yeah, from what I've seen and heard about both, it seems about right. Maybe the gas station is a little crazier, but then again who knows? At least you're equipped to deal with this place.
Custodial staff. GOD. That reminds me I need to figure out what department to work in. The closest to my profession is facilities, and I am NOT going from architecture to janitorial. Have you picked something yet?
No, I'm still trying to figure that out too. What I want to do and what I actually have the talent to do are two very different things. It seems a little pathetic to get bounced to an alternate universe and then... immediately become a cashier at the gift shop or something.
Right? It's not immediately obvious and the options are all sorta just super specialized or super boring, at least imo. Maybe they'd let you do writing for them, like some kind of idk, internal newspaper with stories about the stuff people have done? You've got the writing chops for it.
Yeah, that's what I did at home. It's pretty much the only thing from my pre-shipwreck life that stuck afterward. Which is a relief because I paid out the ASS for the school.
I really don't think anyone's gonna pay me to write this stuff. Seems a little far-fetched.
( Jim from The Office stares into the camera. )
That's something that could come in handy, though, right? Like, what if they're planning some heist on a building somewhere and need an expert opinion on invading the air vents? Or they're trying to figure out how to blow something up but they're not sure which ones are the right steel beams to use the jet fuel on? I'm pretty sure you'd fit in being one of those people that stands over the map table while somebody else gives exposition about The Plan. Maybe you should see if they have an opening for one of those?
If they're all about collecting creepy magic artifacts and stuff, there has to be at least a little heisting, right? A Building Plans person is a total necessity on every heist team. It's an intense market. There's way more demand than supply. Make them put you on like a retainer or something.
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Holy shit, man, you're a really good writer, no wonder you had obsessive fans. Love the use of 'presages' next to 'overweight Darth Vader.' Two thumbs up.
Seriously, though, that is fuuuuuucked. Much as I'd hope the physical manifestation of death was that stupid, the whole massage oil and shirt off and erotic fanfiction thing is creepy as hell.
If you ever want to send me more of these things, I will DEVOUR them. Totally worth the popcorn.
[Then, after a few moments.]
All of that aside, I'm sorry that (almost) happened to you. Seriously messed up.
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I was thinking about maybe starting up another blog here. It kind of helps me keep my head on straight, you know?
Anyway, don't sweat it. That's so, so far down the list of crazy shit I've seen it barely even registers.
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You know what? I'm even MORE sorry about that, man.
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Custodial staff. GOD. That reminds me I need to figure out what department to work in. The closest to my profession is facilities, and I am NOT going from architecture to janitorial. Have you picked something yet?
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You're an architect?
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Yeah, that's what I did at home. It's pretty much the only thing from my pre-shipwreck life that stuck afterward. Which is a relief because I paid out the ASS for the school.
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( Jim from The Office stares into the camera. )
That's something that could come in handy, though, right? Like, what if they're planning some heist on a building somewhere and need an expert opinion on invading the air vents? Or they're trying to figure out how to blow something up but they're not sure which ones are the right steel beams to use the jet fuel on? I'm pretty sure you'd fit in being one of those people that stands over the map table while somebody else gives exposition about The Plan. Maybe you should see if they have an opening for one of those?
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Wait, how often are you expecting us to have to heist a building?
[And then, a few seconds later in another text.]
Scratch that, that sounds like a lot of fun.
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a retainer or something.
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So, how about this. You ask to run an internal newspaper with creepy stories, and I'll ask to be the Building Plans person if there's any heists.
Deal?
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