Well, I'm also friends with a cop and a girl that sometimes floats, still not really sure what's up with that. They both think I'm a murderer right now, though, which kind of takes them off the table a little. We used to have the Dark God on our side, who was surprisingly awesome contrary to the frankly awful branding associated with the name, but then some asshole blew him up.
So. Yeah. Just me, Jerry's head, and Ricardo. My bat.
If I'm being honest, the only reason I've made it this long is because of some really specific... magical... restraint... bullshit on the thing trying to take over. It's one of those 'bad guy gets sent to a tiny town as punishment for cosmic crimes with a new inability to harm humans, so he finds fucked up loopholes' situations. He's not even the final boss. When that gets to town I'm fucked.
Anyway, yeah, I figured that out.
But I'm not gonna lie, I'm still pretty pissed they won't help, or even at least just teach people how to do whatever magic they're using. I'm leaving them a really, really shitty Yelp review. 2 stars. The bathrooms are pretty clean or it would be 1, but the custodial staff deserves recognition.
A dark god? Sounds convenient, except the blowing up part. Overall, I wish I could help, but my hands are tied just as anyone else’s. No crossing multiverses for me to help those in need.
[Though.]
To ADI, magic = bad. I can’t blame them, given what I’ve heard. My magic doesn’t work the same as it does in this world, either, but I can always share with you the basics of what I know. With any luck, it might be vaguely useful to you whenever we return home.
And if you’re not so lucky? Then I guess you can be an honorary sorcerer if you ever visit my universe instead.
Yeah, he branded the title back when it had a different connotation. At least, that's what he said anyway. I don't know if I can really imagine anyone selling that as a good thing at any point in human history, but I don't even watch movies made before 1979. What do I know?
If they're not using magic to stop it, what are they even planning to do? Nuke the apocalypse?
Anyway, I'll take any help I can get. Like, literally anything.
And let me just... apologize in advance if I start zoning out. I swear it won't be because you're boring, it'll be because my brain sucks more than a blowjob at the Hoover factory.
No, absolutely not medical. ADI establishes a "no magic" policy, remember? I don't think they'd take kindly to the idea of me sharing any kind of magical knowledge with you, so best to keep that part to ourselves. I'm over at the flophouse when I'm not working.
And don't worry. I'll find ways to keep your attention.
[OMINOUS? Well, not particularly. If Jack doesn't mind a few subtle startlements now and again.]
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So. Yeah. Just me, Jerry's head, and Ricardo. My bat.
If I'm being honest, the only reason I've made it this long is because of some really specific... magical... restraint... bullshit on the thing trying to take over. It's one of those 'bad guy gets sent to a tiny town as punishment for cosmic crimes with a new inability to harm humans, so he finds fucked up loopholes' situations. He's not even the final boss. When that gets to town I'm fucked.
Anyway, yeah, I figured that out.
But I'm not gonna lie, I'm still pretty pissed they won't help, or even at least just teach people how to do whatever magic they're using. I'm leaving them a really, really shitty Yelp review. 2 stars. The bathrooms are pretty clean or it would be 1, but the custodial staff deserves recognition.
no subject
[Though.]
To ADI, magic = bad. I can’t blame them, given what I’ve heard. My magic doesn’t work the same as it does in this world, either, but I can always share with you the basics of what I know. With any luck, it might be vaguely useful to you whenever we return home.
And if you’re not so lucky? Then I guess you can be an honorary sorcerer if you ever visit my universe instead.
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If they're not using magic to stop it, what are they even planning to do? Nuke the apocalypse?
Anyway, I'll take any help I can get. Like, literally anything.
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Not much to be done about the entities, but the people? They’re still very mortal.
As for help with magic, if you don’t mind my limited resources (you’ll probably just be lectured at), then drop by wherever you have the time.
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And let me just... apologize in advance if I start zoning out. I swear it won't be because you're boring, it'll be because my brain sucks more than a blowjob at the Hoover factory.
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And don't worry. I'll find ways to keep your attention.
[OMINOUS? Well, not particularly. If Jack doesn't mind a few subtle startlements now and again.]
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Oh, cool. Alright. I'm in room 1, so that's pretty convenient.
Thank you.
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I’m in room 10 if you ever need anything.