It's not that Mr. Larsen makes for a particularly intimidating figure in any other situation, to any other person. Too skinny, too mustachio'd, too much of a sense that the guy gets his self-confidence through the authority of a job that actually has no authority to anybody not directly involved in its domain. His voice, though... It's loud, stern, a little too domineering. Probably necessary for corralling rowdy elementary schoolers with attitude problems, but Jack very much isn't.
It's only Harriet that keeps him from being too locked-up to speak, with her gentle reassurance that he's not in trouble. She's the ultimate authority here, seeing as she's the one he has to go home to. He looks from Mr. Larsen to her, and then back to Mr. Larsen's... desk, rather than his eyes.
"I was writing. And then Beaux grabbed my journal. He called me— something, and then threw it, and then tried to write— the word on my cast, but I kept moving and he's not really good at spelling anyway, so he told his friends to hold me down, except Blue told them to stop, and then they called her a name, and tried to grab her I guess because she's a girl, but then she socked him in the face and he started crying, and then his friend started crying for no reason, I guess he was scared or something, and then the teacher showed up."
A beat later, he holds up his cast, where a shaky but legible 'Fa' is scrawled in Sharpie.
It probably says a lot about Mr. Larsen that his eyes don't linger on Jack while he's telling the story, but rather shifts between the two adult women flanking him in the heavy cherrywood and leather chairs.
Unlike Blue, Maura doesn't let her anger spill out to the surface. But, anyone who knows the Sargents know that temper bred true from mother to daughter. Perhaps Jack can sense it though, in the way her hands fold in on themselves in her lap, or the quiet downturn of her mouth.
If Jack can sense it, quietly attuned to the mood of the room, it's quite evident that Mr. Larsen cannot. He doesn't even glance at Jack's cast, instead bearing down on Maura, his expression shifting to something almost triumphant beneath a thin veneer of professionalism.
"There you have it, Ms. Sargent," he says with a vague hand gesture. "From his own mouth, your daughter threw the first punch."
"That's what you got from his story?!" Maura retorts, voice rising an octave as she settles further back in the chair.
On the other side of Jack, Harriet leans over and puts a gentle hand atop his shoulder.
"Thank you, Jack," she says, warm and reassuring. "That was very brave of you. You can go back to the hallway now. We will sort this out."
"I think we both heard him say that Blue 'socked' Beauregard in the face," Mr. Larsen says, his artificial calm beginning to crack beneath the pressure of Maura's direct gaze.
"I think we both heard how Beauregard was being a bully," Maura snaps back.
At this stage in his life, Jack hasn't yet softened up his hyper-awareness of the people he's sharing a room with. One day, after a few years of relative safety and adjustment, this will shift intensely, but right now he can practically feel Maura vibrating beside him. The harder she vibrates, the harder Mr. Larsen vibrates. The only person not vibrating here is Harriet, and — neither for the first, nor last time — he really likes her being his foster mom.
It doesn't take any more encouragement than that single instruction for him to scamper out of the room, clicking the door shut behind him and retreating back into the seat closest to Blue.
"Your mom is mad," he says, just a subtle shade of awe in his tone. "Mad at him, I mean. It kind of looks like she wants to do to him what you did to Beau."
Evidently, even at his age the through-line between the temper of mother and daughter is clear as day. He likes Blue (a lot, she is his best friend after all, apparently), and he likes Maura (she was nice to him), but he'd rather get eaten by a shark than piss either of them off. That's the biggest take-away from today.
It takes another several minutes before the adults emerge again, with Harriet just as soft as before if not maybe... a little more amused around the eyes than what Jack would've expected after being present for a tense encounter like that.
"Are you ready to go, Jack, honey?" She asks, which is how she tells him what to do sometimes - a method he appreciates. For the first time, he hesitates, glancing between her and Blue, reluctant to leave her until he knows she's going to be alright.
Alone in the hallway except for her (now) sworn enemy Beauregard and his cronies, Blue's anger begins to fade, giving way to an uncomfortable twist of her stomach. The adrenaline fueled rage that's been carrying her through could never last forever, and with Maura here to take over the fight, Blue's knees slowly go to jelly. Her heart misbehaving in her chest.
She really did that. She punched someone.
The boys won't dare do anything to her. Not with Ms. Harrison's door open. Not even Beauregard is stupid enough to start a fight right next to the literal principal's office.
Blue tucks her hands beneath her thighs, trapping them against the plastic of the seat beneath her. The knuckles on her right hand throb unhappily. No one ever told her that punching someone hurts.
You're not supposed to punch people. Fists are for people who can't use their words. Blue should've gotten a teacher. She knows all these things. She's not a troublemaker. She's a paint within the lines -- unless the lines are stupid -- kind of girl.
Her left foot bounces restlessly against the floor and her shoulders and jaw wind so tight, she's certain her teeth will crack under the pressure.
When the waiting has become almost unbearable, the door opens up again and Jack slips back into the hallway. Blue keeps her hands tucked beneath her thighs, but her foot stills against the multicolored carpet, and she pulls certainty around herself like a cloak. Jack's her best friend and he's nervous.
They can't both be nervous.
Beneath her cloak of feigned confidence, something inside Blue relaxes. Her mother being angry at the principal is a good sign.
"Mom's too clever to punch someone," she says, and maybe there's an ounce of self-deprecation in there. If she was as clever as her mom, maybe they wouldn't be here now. But then again, she's only eight. She doesn't know an argument that will keep a bully from writing a rude word on someone's cast. "She'll sort it out. You'll see."
Are you ready to go, Jack, honey?
Harriet seems really nice. Blue appreciates that she isn't like the other mom's who have simply grabbed their sons by the wrist and dragged them along with a curt we're leaving. She's asking. Which is just how it should be, as far as Blue's concerned.
She gives Jack a tight and brave little smile.
"I'll see you later, okay?" she asks. In the woods, under their tree. Or maybe tomorrow at school, but hopefully under the tree. On an impulse, she turns in her seat and throws her arms around Jack's shoulders, giving him a quick and sideways hug.
As far as hugs go, it's not especially good.
"I'd do it again, if I had to," she whispers hotly against his ear, before she lets go and gives him a solemn look of unshakeable loyalty.
It's hard to say who's more surprised by Blue's spontaneous hug — Jack, or Harriet. He freezes for a second, and any adult would have been able to see the clear concern written on his foster mother's face. He hasn't been an especially affectionate child, and sudden acts of physicality being sprung on victims of abuse are always precarious. She doesn't have to worry long; two or three seconds in, his brain clicks into place, and he wraps his arms around Blue in turn, hugging her back as tight as he can manage without pressing his cast against her.
Quietly, Harriet resolves to have a talk with Maura to see about letting the two of them connect a little more. It's the first time Jack's demonstrated any social ties that she's seen. He needs a friend, especially one that'll look out for him the way Blue seems intent to do.
"Thank you," is all he knows to say, because he doesn't have enough time to say you really shouldn't, I don't want you to get in trouble, it's not worth it, I can deal with it, it's nothing, I've seen way, way worse.
They turn each other loose, and he offers her one last hesitant wave with his cast hand before the two of them disappear from the office.
Jack is surprised and relieved to learn that he isn't in any kind of trouble. Quite the opposite, in fact — Harriet takes him to dinner, just the two of them, no foster siblings to tag along. They have a quiet talk about standing up for himself, and about what trouble really means, and how he'll know if he's in it, and what he can expect if she's ever upset. He only cries once, and she buys him a sundae.
This is also the day Harriet learns that Blue is his tree reading partner. Unfortunately, by the time they get back from dinner, it's already almost dark. Having learned what the phone policy is, he's actually a little sad he never got around to getting Blue's number.
After Jack leaves, it seems an eternity before Maura Sargent steps out of the principal's office. It leaves Blue's imagination plenty of time to run away with her. By the time her mother stops in front of her, unknowingly echoing Harriet's kind you ready to go?, Blue has painted herself a tragic martyr; thrown out of school for doing the right thing, condemned to teaching herself about math, science, and history from books. (It's the one bright side to this whole thing. Books, Blue is pretty sure, make better teachers than Ms. Klein.)
Blue's sneakers scuff against the carpet as she slides off her chair. Trailing after Maura towards the door, she pauses to throw a look over her shoulder and stick her tongue out at Bo. His face goes red, and Blue feels a deep kind of satisfaction warming the pit of her belly.
As it turns out, there is no lifetime expulsion from school, no suspension (in or out of school) for Blue. But there is also no going out for dinner after complete with a surprise sundae. What there is, however, is a lengthy discussion during the car ride home about what other tools Blue has in her tool box to resolve arguments before resorting to violence.
It's not a lecture. Maura doesn't give lectures. Instead, they reason it out together. By the time the gravel of 300 Fox Way's driveway crunches beneath the tires of the Volvo, they are in agreement that if (when, Blue corrects her mother glumly) it happens again, the right thing to do is to involve an adult.
Only once Blue has worked her feet free of her shoes and Maura has briefed Calla and Persephone on the series of events leading her to need the Volvo for the afternoon, does the subject turn to Jack. Maura has a lot of questions, and Blue answers them dutifully while helping to prepare for dinner.
The house is unseasonably quiet. It's not a day to slip unnoticed into the woods.
Persephone disappears into her room to work on her thesis while Calla joins them in the kitchen, with an apron tied around her waist and brandishing a potato peeler. Occasionally, she breaks into Maura's line of questioning with wholly irrelevant commentary. (Is the milk still good? -- Actually I don't think it is. -- Oven-roasted or just boiled? -- We can't do mashed potatoes without milk. -- Oh, is there half-and-half in there? -- Have you ever made mashed potatoes with half and half? -- No? Can't see why it wouldn't work. Might even be creamier.)
Blue spends all of dinner near vibrating off her chair, her gaze drawn again and again to the kitchen window facing the woods. She should be out there right now, under her tree, waiting for Jack. She needs to let him know that she is fine. It's important. Except by the time dinner is over, and the washing up is done, the sun is already dipping down below the horizon.
Blue's whole face screws up in deep thought.
"I'd like to go into the woods," she tells her mother as she finishes wiping off the last plate with a flourish.
Maura looks through the window at the fading light.
"At this hour?" she asks.
Blue's chest sinks and she curls her fingers around the edge of the counter.
"Jack might be there," she explains quietly. She draws her lower lip in between her teeth, slowly chewing on it. The longer the silence between them, the sharper the pressure of her teeth.
"How about we go together then?" Maura asks, finally breaking the silence. The woods can be a dangerous place in the dark. But she's never been one to tell her daughter what to do or not to do. At least not in so many words.
Blue considers the offer, fingertips tapping restlessly against the counter as she thinks. They make a sound like hoofs of a tiny herd of galloping horses, moving at the same speed of her mind as she thinks.
Ten minutes later, leaves and sticks crunching beneath their shoes, Maura and Blue find Blue's beech tree empty.
"You will see him at school tomorrow," Maura says, giving Blue's hand a light squeeze.
Disappointment piles onto Blue's chest, its weight near crushing. She stares at the smooth bark of her tree, and the empty space between its roots, and then she nods.
"Yeah," Blue says. She sticks her free hand into the pocket of the coat her mother insist she wear, curling her fingers up tight against her palm, and tries to pretend she is feeling nothing at all.
The next morning at school, Blue arrives before the school bus, dropped off by Calla on her way to Aglionby Academy. (No need to tempt fate.) She swings immediately by Jack's desk, leaving a folded up notebook paper on his desk on top of a brand new composition journal.
The note, if he opens it, reads:
Dear Jack, I wasn't in much trouble at all. Don't be worried. My mother just wants me to explore other avenues before resorting to violence. I think that is very reasonable. We had chicken, broccoli, and. mashed potatoes made with half and half for dinner. It was okay. I don't really like broccoli. The journal is from mom. She still has yours and it is drying out. She thinks if we give it a little time, you might be able to salvage a lot of what you wrote, but she doesn't want to invade your privacy so maybe you want to come over some day and look? We don't have boys in the house often, except professionally, but you are always very welcome. If you still want to, mom is going to ask your Harriet if you can come to the bookstore on Sunday. xoxo Blue
Jack rides the bus to school with a handful of his older foster siblings, so altercations on the bus are generally unlikely. Not that Beau rides the same bus as him. He might have, if Jack were still living with his dad; fortunately, Harriet's house is in a nicer neighborhood than his trailer park had been.
The classroom is already half full by the time Jack turns up, and although he wants to immediately go up to Blue, his awkwardness gets the better of him. What's he going to do? Hug her in front of everyone? Not a chance. Say hi and run out of stuff to say almost immediately? She might not want to talk about what happened the day before in front of everyone. Instead, all he manages is an uncertain pause, and a wave of his cast-hand, and then a hesitant break-away to head back to his desk.
Where a composition journal sits. He lights up immediately, flipping the thing open just to get a look at the empty white pages. There's something strangely soothing about an empty notebook full of lined paper. It's so... clean, not yet ruined, full of possibility and space. Of course, the note is an immediate distraction.
Several facts get filed away one after another, and after a couple of seconds he digs around in his bag to pull out a spiral notebook to tear a page out — there are perforations, there's no way he's ripping an ugly eyesore into his new journal.
He does his best to make his handwriting... marginally less illegible.
Dear Blue,
I'm glad you didn't get in trouble. I'm also glad about the choice not to fight. Don't get me wrong, you kicked that guy's ass and it was awesome, but you really don't have to worry about me like that. I've had way worse than whatever Beau tries to do. He's not really very creative.
Harriet took me to Friendly's for dinner. She got me a Sunday, so that was pretty cool. What is half and half? Half of what?
I would love to come over, but it's okay if it's ruined. It was just stupid stories and stuff that I wrote, not homework or anything, so it doesn't really matter.
Harriet already said I could go to the bookstore with you, and also that if you want to call some time as long as it's before 9 pm and I answer any beeps and don't hog the phone, that would be okay. If you want to. Not that you have to. I'm not very good at talking to people, so it might not be an enjoyable experience. It might still be a good idea for your mom to call, just so they're on the same page.
I'm sorry I didn't show up at the tree. I don't know if you wanted me to, but just in case you did, it's because we were at Friendly's until it got dark.
I'm also sorry this is so long. I write a lot. I guess maybe it's to balance out the fact that I don't talk a lot.
Anyway, thank you for helping me yesterday, and also for being my friend.
He debates writing love at the end, because he's pretty sure that's how most people end letters, but it might seem weird to do here. He settles on a simple:
Jack.
He can't give her the note back until they're all lined up for a bathroom break. He offers it out as discreetly as possible, in case it's supposed to be some kind of secret affair, or in case it would embarrass her to be seen writing notes with him.
By the time the school bus riding students begin to filter into the classroom, Blue has already cracked open a book on her desk and is restlessly reading it. Her foot bounces against one of the metal legs of her desk, impatient and distracted, and she keeps glancing up at the sound of shoes squeaking against the linoleum floor near the door. It's a lot of disappointment, Blue sighing with each student who fails to be Jack and staring back down at her book with an increasingly furrowed brow.
The pinched look on her face is immediately replaced by something a little softer and more cheerful the moment she glances up to see his narrow shoulders and bright cast. She gives him a quick wave that's little more than a fanning out of her fingers like a wave crashing across her desk. When he makes his way to his desk, she twists in her seat, tracking his path with her whole body. It's unfortunate, that he's sitting so far behind her. It's not exactly conducive to surreptitious glances his way.
The look on his face when he picks up the blank journal sends a little jolt of warmth through Blue's chest. The first leaf of spring unfurling just below her ribs. If it wasn't for their teacher walking into the room and clearing her throat, Blue likely would've watched Jack as intently as a small hawk while he read and replied to her note. But, as it stands, she tugs her attention away from him and forces it onto the whiteboard instead.
During class -- if it's a subject she likes -- Blue is normally a diligent student. But even though Ms. Klein is talking about trees and their different leaves -- a subject bound to keep Blue's rapt attention on a normal day -- she can't stop fidgeting in her seat. For once, she can't wait for the lunch break. Not because it'll finally let her read uninterrupted again, but because it's her best chance to talk to Jack again.
Her best friend.
(Should they have talked about it first? The friendship thing? Blue feels like it was kind of implied since they shared that cupcake under the tree, but maybe Jack feels differently. But, blood has been shed over it, which she feels kind of seals the deal here.)
Too many thoughts make it difficult to concentrate on the difference between a maple tree leaf and a birch tree leaf. Even Bo, glowering past the ugly bruise squatting on the bridge of his nose and sending tendrils of dark purple and blue just below his eyes, at her doesn't steal as much of her concentration as Jack merely existing somewhere to her left behind her.
When the break is announced, Blue clambers to her feet quicker than anyone else, and then proceeds to waste just enough time getting to the other end of the classroom so they end up next to each other. Blue takes the note with the same level of discretion as it is offered, tucking it in her pocket like a spy and giving him a small, but determined nod.
Message received.
In the bathroom, Blue locks the stall and sits down before she retrieves the note from her pocket, unfolding it and reading it greedily. She reads it twice and starts on a third time before another girl pounds on the door of her stall.
Blue tucks the note back away, and slinks out of the stall with a somewhat guilty look on her face. Rather than lingering in the hallway of the restrooms, she hurries back to her desk, turning his note over and writing quickly on the back of it.
It takes the rest of the break and most of the next class for her to compose her response. Her mind keeps snagging on the fourth sentence and making her brow furrow with concern she can't quite convey onto paper.
Dear Jack, I can't both be your friend and not worry about you. They are mutually exclusive. Friends worry about friends. Bo is a stupid jerk. I don't think he will try again. But if he does. I will first try to find a teacher. But he is not allowed to take your journal or throw it in the mud. Or write rude things on your cast. I can't stand idly by and let that happen. Do you know who stood idly by? Nazis. That's how we got the holocaust. Friendly's is really nice. I like their french fries a lot. Mom says a sundae is just dressed up ice cream. But I like it a lot too. Half and half is HALF milk, HALF cream. I like mashed potatoes better with just milk. But the milk had gone bad and Jimi keeps half and half for her coffee. I think stories matter more than homework. I can help you write up new ones. If you want. Or you can read them to me after. If you want. I will ask mom to call so they can do that grownup thing. I think my mom would like that. She says your Harriet is "good people". That's a good thing. We have a phone in the cat/sewing room so I could call you. Mom can probably find Harriet in the phone book. Or you can give me your number and I can call sometime maybe. I'm not good on the phone either. It's no fun talking when you can't see the other person. Mom and I went to the tree just in case. She wanted to walk with me since it was getting dark. I'm glad you weren't there waiting for me. Dinner and dishes took a long time and I couldn't sneak out. So it's a good thing. You might have sat there all alone for a long time and then I would have felt bad. You can come over after school if you want. We can meet at the tree and then we can walk over. Or you can ride home with me. Or we can just meet at the tree. My house gets VERY loud sometimes. I don't mind that this is long. I like reading. You are welcome for yesterday and for being your friend. But I don't think that is something you are supposed to thank someone for. Did you have a chance to read some yesterday? I only read a little before bed and not for long because mom came to check on me. xoxo Blue
This time, Blue doesn't run ahead when they break for lunch. Instead she lingers in the doorway, waiting for Jack to come join her. Under the watchful eyes of Ms. Klein, Beau passes her with nothing but a low grumble of discontent that might be bitch or witch. Blue can't tell. Her face lights up in a smile when Jack finally makes his way over though. She slips her hand immediately in his and tugs him along towards the cafeteria.
"I wrote you a reply," she says, low and under her breath. In case they are still being secret. "You don't have to read it now, you can wait until after lunch."
All of Blue's intentions are interrupted by an older girl materializing the moment they enter the cafeteria. A fourth or fifth grader by the look of her, she's wearing a bright orange dress and a matching bow in her hair. She blows a bubble with her bubblegum, and considers the two of them.
Blue darkens significantly.
"You Jack?" the girl asks, visibly unimpressed.
"Orla," Blue says. The name a curse in her mouth. "What are you doing here?"
"Manners," Orla admonishes her. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"
Blue rolls her eyes and slips her hand out of Jack's.
"Orla-Jack, Jack-Orla," she says waving her now-free hand vaguely between them. "Orla is my cousin. We live together. Orla. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"
"We're having lunch together," Orla says brightly. "Don't look at me like that. Mom's idea."
Blue heaves a very heavy sigh and gives Jack a look to say that she is very, very sorry about this turn of events.
"We're sitting outside," she tells Orla. "You should just sit with your friends. We're fine."
Except that's not how it happens. Orla clearly takes her mission very seriously, and she sticks close by for the entirety of lunch. Blue's lips squash tight together, and she picks at her lunch. Thankfully(?), Orla talks enough for all three of them.
Jack does indeed slip the note in his pocket to read after lunch. The way he figures it, they have time together now to talk or just hang out. The note is like extra time he gets later, there's no point spending it all in one place.
Besides, even if he wanted to, Blue tugs him along with determination and in a hurry. He hasn't quite mastered reading and walking yet. He's been working on it. Maybe it'll be easier without the cast.
And then there's an older girl he's never even seen before, much less talked to. For one brief, terrifying second, he thinks maybe Beau sent her to beat him up or something. His relief might be a little bit visible when it becomes apparent Blue knows her.
The introduction leaves a little to be desired, but he offers her a small cast-wave and a tentative, "Hi."
Not much time for more than that, there's a line forming and impatiently urging them along. Jack's got a packed lunch from home, in a neat blue cooler-bag with his name printed in permanent marker along the flap. Too neat to be his handwriting, though only Blue would know that. It matches the lunch bags all his foster siblings carry in every way except color, and it contains a Lunchable, an apple, and some juice. Way better than any lunch he ever got from his dad — not a guaranteed thing, and often supplemented by teacher-paid pity lunches he was too hungry to turn down.
Once they all sit down, the tension (mostly one-sided, he notes) is palpable and uncomfortable. He aims to break it with an offering of, "I like your bow."
He doesn't, really. He doesn't care for orange, and he's not all that into bows, but it doesn't hurt to offer somebody a compliment when you're trying to get on their good side. It seems to work well enough, because Orla talks them through most of the lunch period, and Jack's privately relieved he doesn't have to fill in much silence himself.
When he finally gets around to reading Blue's note, that bit about the Nazis leaves him blinking. Well, that escalated quickly. He guesses she's technically right, and in her defense, he has heard Beau spouting some distinctly uncomfortable things about 'the oppressed whites'.
He writes his return-letter on a fresh sheet of paper.
Dear Blue,
I think I misspelled sundae in that last note. That's pretty dumb, pretend that didn't happen. Sundaes might just be dressed up ice cream, but tuxedos are just dressed up clothes, and they still make you wear those to weddings and funerals. If you have to have one, I think you probably deserve to get the other. Like a consolation prize.
I've never had coffee. Have you? Is it good?
If I let you read my stories, do you promise not to make fun of me? You can criticcrit give me feedback if you want, that's okay, just as long as it's serious. We can also try to write one together some time, too.
Your mom is right about Harriet, she's the nicest person I've ever met. It's really weird. The house I'm at now is kind of like a TV sitcom family house, or like the pictures you see of rich people with golden retrievers in magazines. It's like aliens. But I'm not complaining, it's really good.
Here is my phone number #505-503-4455
I think I should meet you at the tree, since I can't ask Harriet if I can ride home with you yet. I'll go home and tell her first, and then if I'm allowed, I'll meet you there. Are you sure I'm allowed at your house, since boys don't come there very often? I don't want to get you in trouble or make your mom not like me.
I got to read only like a chapter :( sorry I'm taking so long. I'm almost done and then you can borrow it.
Jack
P.S. I really hope Beau throwing my notebook in the mud isn't the beginning of a chain of events that will eventually lead to the next Holocaust. Although, I guess you probably stopped that before it could start, so good job.
P.P.S. I'm getting my cast off on Saturday.
In a bold maneuver, he gets up to sharpen his pencil and drops the note on her desk on the way back. Ms. Klein doesn't notice. He's too quiet, and he has a reputation for being unobtrusive. Most people tend not to notice him, or their eyes pass right over him like their subconscious has scratched him off as a potential trouble-making threat.
Orla and Blue both sport matching brown paper bags. Crinkled and soft like they have been filled, crammed into backpacks, emptied, and then re-filled again in a cycle that will last as long as the bag does. An apple each -- Orla's bright green and tart, Blue's a ruddy red-green and looking like maybe it's gone back and forth to school as often as the paper bag -- matching cheese sandwiches on homemade bread that looks like it might have too many grains in it, and a bottle of apple juice for Orla, and water for Blue.
They sit down, Blue a thunder cloud in miniature, and Orla entirely uncaring. The tension sitting in the corners of Blue's jaw and the joints of her shoulders doesn't dissipate, but Jack's compliment sends Orla down into a happy monologue about fashion and the importance of matching accessories to your clothes.
Orla tears her sandwich in pieces, popping them into her mouth between sentences. Somehow managing to keep talking while never exactly speaking with her mouth full. Blue takes too big bites of hers and chews it glumly while Orla keeps up her non-stop monologue. By the end of lunch, Orla is gesturing with her apple core to emphasize her words, and Blue crumbles the paper bag up around her own, still uneaten apple, and shoves it back into her backpack.
Returning to class does little to improve Blue's mood. It seems unfair, somehow, that she be subjected to Orla at lunch and then math immediately after. A couple of months into first grade, math was unequivocally her favorite subject. Somewhere down the road it took a weird turn, and now she can't stand it.
Blue brightens when the note drops on her desk. Furtively, she spreads it open, tucking it halfway beneath her math workbook so she can read while pretending she's working on addition.
Thankfully, Ms. Klein is paying more attention to Miles and Travis, jostling each other every minute or so, than to Blue who keeps casting little less-than-surreptitious glances over her shoulder after each paragraph she finishes. Like she can somehow psychically impart her responses straight into Jack's brain or somehow read his.
Blue speeds through the assigned pages in the workbook like she has a book waiting for her in her desk. Once she's finished them, she turns Jack's note over and begins scribbling away at a response.
Dear Jack, I am really (REALLY) sorry about Orla. She only reads girl books and listens to stupid music WAY too loud. She is NOT my friend. We just live in the same house. I think sundae is a pretty dumb word. It sounds like it should be spelled "sunday" and I think it's unfair to try to trick people like that. I like the comparison between tuxedos and ice cream. I think that's really clever. But I'm not sure I understand the last part. Do you mean if we have to dress up for funerals we should also get sundaes? If you do I think that is a good point. If you have to go to a funeral you should get to go out for sundaes after. If not I still think you should get a sundae after a funeral. I have tried coffee a couple of times. I would not say it's good. It's sort of okay if you put sugar and half and half in it. But without anything in it? It tastes angry. Does that make sense? I know angry isn't a flavor but I don't know how else to describe it. I promise I will never make fun of your stories if you let me read them. I will tell you what I think of them. But nicely. I am better at reading than writing. But I can try. Your house sounds very nice. My house is very crowded and very loud. We always have aunts and cousins over and mom works in the drawing room. It's best not to go into the drawing room without an invitation. I have written your phone number down on my hand. I will write it down on the list by the phone in the cat/sewing room when I get home so I can call you whenever. As long as it's before 9 PM. I will meet you at the tree after school then. If you don't show up I know it's because Harriet said no. I was already going to go there to read anyway so it's okay if you can't come out. I will talk with my mom about you coming over. But I think it's okay. You are my best friend and it's my home. So you should be allowed over whenever. You apologize too much. It's not your fault that yesterday was weird. I have plenty of books to read before I borrow yours. Don't worry about it. /Blue P.S. If someone in town is going to start the next holocaust it would probably be Bo. And people ignoring what he does even when it's mean. But that's not what I was saying. I'm just saying that I am not a person who can stand by and watch someone I care about be hurt without doing anything. P.P.S. That's really cool. How come you are in a cast anyway? Or is that too big a question?
Unfortunately, there is no plausible excuse that would bring Blue to the back of the classroom, so once she folds up her carefully crafted response and tucks it in the pocket of her skirt, it has to wait for recess to be delivered.
At recess, Blue gives up any pretense of subterfuge and works her way to the back of the classroom like a salmon swinging upstream. She grabs Jack by the hand and pulls him over to where they line up against the wall to wait to be released onto the playground.
"Fifth grade has recess after we do," she tells him in a very serious voice. Translation: no risk of being interrupted by Orla. "I think we should head for the swings. They're pretty popular, so we have to be quick. But it's okay if we don't make it. There's an okay tree behind the slide and we can sit under it."
Blue won't ever catch judgement from him over her designated lunch transportation device. He's all too familiar with the brown paper bags and using them until they start to rip. Getting used to the blue cooler bag was weird, it kind of felt like a luxury for the first few weeks — sort of like the kids from richer families that get the glossy folders and mechanical pencils instead of the regular ones.
Just like at lunch, Jack doesn't read the note he's passed during recess. It's tucked away in his pocket for later, and all his solemn attention is devoted to Blue. For the moment, it seems like her word is Law, and thus the Swing Set Decree was written.
If he's honest, even if they don't make it there, he's just happy to have somebody to hang out with now. Hell, he's happy to have somebody to stand in line with. Kids in his class often group themselves up in the same two or three person pods, with him trailing along somewhere between a set without feeling wholly comfortable with the people in front of or behind him.
Standing with her feels dangerously like he belongs somewhere.
They make it to the swings, but there's only one left by the time they get there. He's not particularly disappointed, his heart wasn't really set on it anyway, so he offers, "I don't mind. I can push you if you want?"
A beat, and then he hastily clarifies.
"I mean, not... push you off of it, just- you know how sometimes you see people standing behind somebody swinging and—" It's about this time he realizes she's not an idiot, she knows what he means, so he wraps it up with a lame, "That."
He's never done it before, or had anyone do it to him. That's the kind of thing you only do with friends, or that kids' parents do for them. It seems nice. If she lets him, he'll be diligently gentle and conscientious, and... probably put way too much thought into perfecting his technique so he doesn't mess up somehow.
He doesn't get the chance to write back. School ends surprisingly quick, he's a little startled to realize it's the end of the day when the final bell rings. He walks out with her marginally less awkwardly than any time before, and parts with a goodbye wave and a, "See you later."
He finishes what homework he didn't do during his free time immediately after he gets home, shows Harriet his composition notebook, and asks if he can go to Blue's house if her mom says yes. He's given her blessing, and out the door earlier than ever, book in hand, completely forgetting he should write a note back.
Blue has gotten used to bringing a book with her everywhere she goes. So when she ends up between two groups, she can crack open the cover and disappear between its pages. She doesn't mind being alone -- solitude is amazing -- but being alone around other people feels different somehow.
With a hand curled around one of the chains of the swing, to avoid someone stealing their prize from them, her whole body turned towards him, Blue pauses to consider the offer. She purses her lips and twists her mouth to one side. It's not because of his clumsy offer. She knows exactly what he means. But because it isn't exactly fair. (The world isn't fair, Calla always says. But it should be.) Objectively, being the one on the swing is the best. Being the one doing the pushing is considerably less fun. Add in his cast -- even if he doesn't hurt himself, one handed pushing always ends up slightly lopsided -- and she's less than convinced.
"Okay," she says, but there's a dubious note to the word as she drags two syllables out into three. "But tomorrow, if we can only get one swing, I will push you."
The promised compromise makes her feel better, and she climbs onto the swing. Rather than push herself off and swing with her normal vigor -- like she's trying to kick the sun -- she starts out gentle and slow, letting him set the pace. It's not the best time she's ever had on the swing set. But it's not the worst and it's definitely nicer to have a friend than to swing determinedly alone.
When the bell rings, and everyone ambles back towards the school building with considerably less speed and enthusiasm than when they left it, Blue slips her hand back into Jack's good hand. Like that's just where it belongs.
After recess is specials, and Mrs. Littleman's music classroom is not a place where notes can be written or passed. Still, Blue feels a stitch of disappointment when the end of the school day isn't accompanied by another note for her to unfold and read in the car home. Just a quick see you later that she reciprocates with a smile.
But when Calla pulls up, Orla materializes out of nowhere with one of her friends, and all three of them have to cram into the backseat. Pressed up against the door to keep from having to cuddle up against one of the type of girls Orla thinks make good friends, Blue thinks it's probably for the best that she doesn't have a note to read. Orla would catch it and Make Fun. Arguably one of the worst outcomes.
At home, the doors of the drawing room are closed. Meaning Maura's with a client. Meaning Blue can't immediately talk to her about Jack coming over. Blue takes up post at the bottom of the staircase with a book in her lap and hopes that it isn't one of the elderly ladies who visit regularly in there. They all like to talk (and talk and talk and talk) and Blue really wants to catch Maura before dinner.
Finally (four chapters later when the dragon begins winding its slow way towards the castle), the door opens and a man Blue has never seen before leaves in a hurry. Inside the drawing room, Maura is carefully gathering up the tarot cards from the reading and shuffling them back into her deck.
Blue waits for the door to close behind the man, and then she counts to five before she stands up and walks (calmly) to the drawing room. The scent of warm candle wax and dusty curtains wafts up to meet her.
"I'm meeting Jack in the woods and I'd like to bring him home so we can look at his journal and maybe remake it and can he stay for dinner?" she asks in one breath, hovering by the threshold of the room.
No less than ten minutes later, Blue comes crashing out of the woods, holding her book like a shield. Any tension immediately bleeds out of her when she sees Jack and she gives him a quick wave with her book. Phone conversations will make their lives infinitely less stressful.
"Jack! Hi!" she says, smiling and breathless. "Did she say yes? Can you come? Mom says there'll be enough dinner for you if you want to stay, but she has to call Harriet and ask if it's okay first. I gave her your number and she wrote it down on the list in the cat and sewing room."
His number is on the list. Their best friendship is officially official.
He's only there for maybe twenty minutes before she turns up. It might have been the most impatient twenty minute stretch of time he'd ever had if he weren't on the last (or second to last?) chapter of Harry Potter. It does a decent job of distracting him until she shows up, and then it's immediately abandoned in favor of granting her his full attention.
That's no small feat, for the record.
Blue's mom really must be psychic, he thinks, because calling Harriet to ask about dinner would have been his first answer. She agreed to going over, but dinner wasn't discussed, and there's the passive expectation that he be back around that time. He really hopes she says yes — not because he doesn't like her cooking, but having dinner with somebody is a new and exciting (and... terrifying) prospect.
He's pretty sure she'll say yes. It feels like she says yes to almost anything so far — though he's not too keen on stretching that until he gets a no.
"She said I could. I didn't ask her about dinner, so we'll have to see about that, but I can come over until then anyway." Any other day he'd probably check to see if she wanted to sit under the tree and read a while first, but the pull toward seeing her house is too strong, and gets him walking back the way she came from pretty quickly.
He has... so many questions he wants to ask, but he doesn't want to cram them all into the first two minutes, so he opts for just the one that's probably most important.
"Um, are there... rules that I should know? Like, take my shoes off at the door, don't make noise, speak when spoken to, stay out of the living room, anything like that?"
He really, really doesn't want to accidentally get in trouble or mess it up the first time he shows up. The desire for her mom to like him feels heavily weighted and urgent — more than he even notices in himself, more than he's consciously aware of.
It feels nice, in a way that Blue can't quite quantify, when Jack abandons his book without hesitation in favor of her. It doesn't really register, the little flush of pleased warmth. But it's there and in the years to come, it will grow into something a little brighter and more immediate. As it turns out, having someone's undivided attention is a powerful, and addictive, drug.
Blue doesn't even realize how close he is to the end of the book. But if she did, she'd be impressed. And maybe feel a little guilty; she's not sure she's a good enough friend to do the same for him. Depends on the circumstance perhaps, and definitely on the book. But a new one that's part of a series? That's a tough one.
It might seem impossible, but the confirmation that Jack is allowed to come over, brightens Blue's smile significantly until she's beaming like a small sun. Maybe some day, she will learn how to cloud her emotions, be a little less obvious, but at this age, her face is still an open book. She nods impatient understanding about dinner. Maura will have to sort all of that out with Harriet. That's a grown-up thing.
The only thing stopping her from grabbing him by the hand and physically tugging him down the well-worn path home is the fact that he has only one hand in which to carry his book. As a compromise of sorts, she shifts her book to one hand, and slips her fingers around his elbow, fingertips pressing against the inside of the bend.
The question gives Blue pause, her feet faltering against the familiar path for a second before finding themselves again, and her whole face screwing up in thought. Are those normal rules for normal families? In kindergarten, when kids still followed the rules to invite everyone in the class to their birthday parties, Blue dutifully attended. Other than the delight of store-bought frosting, the one thing she got out of the experience was the bone-deep and certain knowledge that her family is different.
So maybe those rules are all normal. Except they all sound terrible. Maybe that's why the other kids at school are so miserable all the time.
"Umm," she says, throwing her gaze up at the little pieces of sky visible through the reaching branches overhead and thinking really, really hard. There's a certain air of expectation emanating from Jack and she doesn't want to disappoint him by having nothing. "Not really. My mom takes her shoes off inside, but that's mostly 'cause she hates shoes. She says they're an unnatural barrier between her and mother nature. You don't have to though."
Blue chews on the inside of her cheek, her sneakers slapping against the ground.
"Everyone makes noise. All. The. Time. You can speak whenever you want to--" It doesn't seem quite enough still; Blue wants to give him some hard and fast rules to go by. Problem is, there aren't many in 300 Fox Ways other than the obvious, mostly unspoken ones. Like: if you are having a long shower in the single bathroom, don't lock the door. But that doesn't really seem applicable here.
"I guess-- If the door of the drawing room is closed, you shouldn't go in there. Any other closed door, just knock first." Blue gives him a sideways look to see if that answer fulfills the question.
The trees begin thin out, revealing a powder blue, wooden town house with a wrap around porch. The paint is fresh, painted on there by Maura, Calla, Persephone, and a slew of passing through aunts and cousins.
Once they make their way inside, the first impression might be bright, colorful, and cluttered. Like at least three people with fully furnished houses moved in together and instead of discarding whatever they had extras of, or trying to pick the best matching sets, just crammed it all in there. It looks, to Blue, like home.
The second impression, will most certainly be loud. In the kitchen, the radio is on, playing a Dolly Parton song much too loud. From the drawing room, Elvis Presley croons how he can't help falling in love with you accompanied by the gentle and rich crackle of a vinyl record being played.
"Mooooooom," Orla's voice rings through the house from upstairs. "Edith and I are going to her place."
"Did you do your homework?!" Jimi bellows back in her deep and rich voice.
"No! We're gonna finish it at her place!"
"Has anyone seen my scarf with the dangly coins on it?" Calla calls out from deep inside of a closet. "I'm gonna be late."
"Have you tried the laundry?" Persephone's voice sounds like a whisper, even though it's loud to carry all the way downstairs.
"I used it yesterday, remember?" Maura calls up from the kitchen. "Check the chair in my bedroom."
The prospect of wanting to make someone happy is hardly a new one to Jack, who has spent most of his life thus far trying (and failing) to do just that. It's a wholly different experience here, now, where it's less about trying and more about... he just really likes it when she's happy. The expressions her face makes feel contagious, like she's radiating some of that happiness back into him, and he just... really, really likes it. He likes her, and though he was already pleased with this new Best Friends declaration, it's only now that he's completely confident in it.
If he can make her happy like that, then he wants to keep doing it. If he's able to, then he should. It makes him feel...
Safe? Is that the word for what he feels? Maybe there's a better one he's just not familiar with yet.
Slightly less safe feeling: the cacophony of noise at Blue's house. It's not quite like the noise of his foster siblings — that's almost all squabble, all taking place over his head, bickering and turbulent, pounding footsteps, slamming doors, somebody listening to music that's mainly made up of people screaming. He doesn't really understand the appeal. Why would you want to listen to someone be angry?
No, here is all... conversation and music, less of a frustrated chaos and more people just being completely comfortable with their environment. Completely unconcerned that the sounds they make or words they say are going to upset anybody in any significant way. It sounds like really loud love. What an utterly foreign concept.
He decides not to take his shoes off. He's content with the relationship he currently has with mother earth, and he's not sure that he's ready to take anything to the next level with her yet. Blue's answer with one solid rule did satisfy him, but the problem is he has absolutely no idea what or where a drawing room is, and so no idea which place not to go.
It's okay, he's just going to trail her like a lost dog, he figures. That's probably written in his eyes when he flashes a look at her — just a little wide, primarily uncertain; what do we do now? What do people do when they go over each other's houses? Is he supposed to shake hands with anybody or something? Do they go get his journal now or... play something, or talk, or find a new room to ignore each other and read?
It should occur to Blue that 300 Fox Way might be overwhelming to a newcomer. But it won't for another six or seven years when she will be teenager levels of mortified to bring someone new home with her, too aware of the loudness and the herbs drying on every flat surface of the kitchen. For now, 300 Fox Way is second only to the little reading space beneath her beech tree on the list of her favorite places in the world. (Much later, holding Jack's hand will be quietly added to the list, and one day it will rise to the top.) Her fingertips twitch against his arm and she pulls him in through the hallway.
On a normal day, she would kick her shoes off onto the haphazard shoe pile below which there might once have been a shoe rack. Not because of any pressing need to feel closer to mother nature or anything. Just habit. But Jack leaves his shoes on and she doesn't want him to feel alone in his decision.
In the kitchen, Maura is humming along to the radio while she gently picks the leaves from a bundle of dried herbs. She's in a tunic that barely touches the knots of her ankles, her feet bare, and dangling bracelets clicking together on each of her wrists. She looks up at the small whirlwind that is her daughter and gives Jack a smile.
"Hi, Jack," she says, setting down the bundle of herbs with a fragrant rustle. "It's nice to see you again."
Blue's fingers slip free of Jack's arm and she leaves him standing on the threshold of the kitchen. The floorboards creak beneath her as she makes her way past the sink and begins lifting flowers and bunches of leaves in various stages of drying.
"Where'd you put Jack's journal?" she asks, impatiently, rummaging through the herbs and sending little puffs of scent up into the air.
"On the drying rack, on your left," Maura replies calmly, without looking away from Jack. "It's looking a little bit better this afternoon. How are you today, Jack?"
Her voice is patient and kind and she shifts so she can lean forward in her chair without the table separating the two of them.
"Hi," comes the first dutiful response, a little meek, but politely coupled with a little wave of his cast hand. The nervousness he feels is automatic, not personal; Maura seems very nice. She's pretty, which a lot of nice people tend to be, and she wears the kinds of dresses and bracelets his mind associates with free spirits — at least, the kind he sees on television. The kind that hum, dress flowing whenever they walk, often kind of a hippy — also a nice subset of people. It's just that she's a stranger, an adult, a parent, and the mother of his new best friend. Each of those things on their own is a valid reason to be nervous, in his eyes.
He stands where Blue left him, hovering in the doorway, shifting from one foot to the other while he debates on whether or not he ought to follow her in, or if they're just going to be turning around and leaving again as soon as she does... whatever she's doing. His eyes travel from Maura to Blue to the drying rack, then back to Maura again.
"I'm okay," by which he means good, but okay came out and it immediately feels too late to correct it without it sounding dumb. "Thank you for letting me come over. I like your house."
Unlike his bow compliment from before, he does mean it this time. It's big and loud, but even to someone as unfamiliar with the concept of home-y as he is, the feeling is obvious. He likes the clutter of furniture, the favoring of comfortable things with a disregard for any strict rules of interior design — but without everything being covered in cigarette burns and weird stains like his mom and dad's trailer was.
It's not that his house isn't comfortable or anything, it's just... different. Full of deliberate choices.
If he were a couple years older, if he were the version of himself he'll eventually start to grow into once he gets more comfortable in his own skin and around strangers as the abuse fades to the background, he'd have asked what's with the leaves? One of many questions floating around in there, like you have a sewing cat room? Do the cats sew, or do you sew cats?
One time, leaving the grocery store, Maura heard a soft mewl coming from beneath the Buick (the predecessor of the Volvo). Maura bent down and looked below the undercarriage where all shadows melded together into darkness. She could see nothing, much less the origin of the sound. Juggling her groceries and an umbrella, it would have made more sense just to move on with her day. But the gentle mewl came again. After depositing the bags of groceries into the backseat of the Buick, and -- after a moment of thought -- folding up the umbrella and settling it on the plastic floor mat, Maura crouched down on sidewalk, one hand braced against the slick metal of the car.
Still, she saw nothing.
The sound came again, soft and trembling, and despite the rain and her cream-colored dress, Maura Sargent laid down on the pavement. When her eyes met the darkness beneath the car for the third time, one of the shadows resolved themselves into a kitten. As they locked eyes, the kitten's mouth open wide -- too wide almost -- for the quiet squeak that came out of it.
Maura reached beneath the car, straining her shoulder, and her fingers closed around the kitten's slight body. She could feel the poor thing's heartbeat thundering against her palm, the shivers that took over each rain-soaked limb vibrating through her fingers.
It made exactly one sound, a gentle cry when she pulled it out into the light.
The rain fell harder on both of them as Maura sat up and cradled the small creature against her chest. She could see now, its twisted back leg, and the fear that paralyzed it.
Maura drove the whole way home with water dripping from her hair down the nape of her neck, the heat running uncomfortably high, and the small kitten curled precariously in her lap.
Watching Jack now, Maura is reminded by nothing as much as that kitten (now a full grown cat and perched happily atop the sewing machine upstairs, purring in his sleep) and the part of her that's already soft for any friend of Blue's softens further.
"Thank you," she says, careful not to let her smile grow too wide. "I like it too."
"Why did you have to put a thousand herbs on it?" Blue complains, pushing thyme and rosemary and mugwort and sage out of the way until she can see the upturned and flattened out pages of Jack's journal. She grips it by a corner, pouring the remaining drying leaves back onto the drying rack.
"I'm very glad you could come visit," Maura continues to Jack before turning her head to her daughter. "They all needed space to dry and now it'll smell better."
Judging by Blue's exasperated noise as she wipes any remaining leaves or plant parts off the journal, she is very unimpressed by the explanation.
"I am experimenting with making tea," Maura explains to Jack, reaching out and plucking a leave from the bushy and dried bundle she's left on the table. "Different kinds to help with different things."
"Don't try any," Blue cuts in. Deeming it as-good-as-it-will-get, she flips the journal shut. "They all taste worse than coffee. Mom, can you call Harriet so Jack can have dinner with us?"
On her way back from the sink to the threshold where she left Jack, Blue is caught by her mother who gives her a quick and one-armed hug. Blue rolls her eyes, but stands still so Maura can press a quick and affectionate kiss against her cheek.
"Sure," Maura says and she releases her gentle grip. "As long as it is what Jack wants."
"It is," Blue affirms with a glance at Jack to solicit backup. "We're going to my room to work on the journal."
Watching Blue and her mother interact, Jack finds himself feeling some emotion just off to the left of jealousy. Jack's mother... wasn't exactly the loving type, to put it mildly. His memories with her genrally involve her sitting in a lazy-boy recliner, chain-smoking cigarettes and ignoring him in favor of watching Price is Right. She spent most of her life with her eyes glued to the television, and a cigarette glued to her hand. In his early years when he tried to catch her attention, the most he'd get was a that's nice, go play without so much as a glance. As he got older, it became congratulations, what do you want, a cookie? go play. The cookie wasn't even a real offer.
Seeing the casual affection roll between them... It's even a little more appealing than the gentle kindness he gets from Harriet, who still feels a couple steps removed from actually filling in a mom role for him. If he had to identify examples of what that role looks like, well... it's this.
And don't even get him started on how bizarre it is to witness Blue just saying stuff to her without a care in the world — the kind of things that would get him thrown out of a moving car and then some.
He nods emphatically at what Jack wants, forcing himself to tune back into the moment. He does, even if Blue answers for him and then promptly drag him out of the room. He manages another wave and a soft, "Thank you," before the pair of them are gone from the room, and he's back to drinking in the sight of absolutely everything on their travels toward Blue's room.
Edited (i fucked up so much on this tag the first go ) 2021-12-28 23:53 (UTC)
While Blue is aware, on a very theoretical level, that there are bad parents out there. It's not something she expects outside of fiction. Obviously, she would take her mother over any other mother in the world, but she figures that's just because they have a good understanding. It doesn't really occur to her, that there are real children in this world who aren't loved like she is. Much less that Jack is one of them.
But Maura gives Jack a smile and a nod that's as good as any promise before Blue bodily pulls him out of the room and towards the stairs.
"It's not there, Maura!" Calla calls from above.
"Let me check the drawing room!" Maura sighs and pushes to her feet. She doesn't say a single word to Calla about time management, though they both know she would be right.
There isn't much to see, going from the kitchen up the stairs and around the corner to Blue's bedroom. There's the hallway leading down to the open-doored drawing room, affording a glimpse of too many armchairs and the heavy table sitting in the middle of the room, draped with a lace tablecloth and crowned with a crystal ball. The vibrant wallpaper lining the wall of the staircase itself, a bunch of doors atop the landing, and then Blue's room.
Above her twin bed, shoved into the corner of the room, hangs a canopy made out of sheer scarves of every conceivable shade of blue. Along the white wall next to it, the shapes of birch trees have been sketched out with black crayons. They stretch all the way from the floor to the ceiling, an easy clue that there was adult involvement in that particular art project. Against the other white wall, sits a somewhat rickety bookshelf filled with books that were obviously second hand to start with. Their backs cracked and creased or dustjackets torn. The other two walls are the same powder blue as the exterior of the house. One of the blue walls butting up against the white an obvious few brush strokes away from being finished. A stretch of fading paint against the white showing exactly where they ran out of paint.
Blue throws her book on top of her bed with little regard for where it lands, and goes to sit on the round and thick carpet in the middle of the warped floor boards. She spreads open Jack's journal and gives him an almost expectant look which falters quickly when she realizes--
"I forgot to grab pencils. I have colored ones on my desk." An easy point over towards the white IKEA desk, the top of which is covered with water color splotches from various art projects. "Can you grab them?"
Since she's already down and all.
"They're in a rectangular tin. I painted leaves all over it."
If she asks, Jack might eventually tell her about how the reality of bad parenting is a lot different from fiction. He's young enough to only just be developing the impulse to conceal everything that happened beneath layers so dense it won't come up again for like a decade. It's also possible he might relate a little too much to Harry Potter at this age, but that's mostly irrelevant.
Mostly irrelevant, that is, except for all the vibes this house is putting off. It feels magical in ways Jack can't quite pinpoint. Maybe it's hiding in her sketches of trees, maybe it's in the canopy of scarves, or in the drying herbs. Maybe it's hidden in the furniture. It's definitely written in the crystal ball, that one's kind of a given.
As though by natural magnetism, he's drawn toward her bookshelf — but manages to stop two steps in and rip his eyes from it at her request. It gets one last second-glance, and then he obediently grabs the painted tin (also harboring a faint feeling of magic by virtue of aesthetic) to bring it to her.
Impulse suggests he sit down across from her, but then he realizes he wouldn't actually be able to see the contents of the journal if he did. He moves beside her instead, carefully and quietly lowering himself down cross-legged, close enough that their knees brush, and sets the tin on the floor in front of her.
"Can you even read any of the words anymore?" He asks, clearly pessimistic about the notion.
If asked, Blue would argue that there is nothing magical about 300 Fox Way. Not in the sense that say Harry Potter is magical. Sure it has crystal balls and tarot decks and a dowsing rod somewhere. (Not to mention bottles of herbal -- and mildly hallucinogenic -- wine.) But none of that is magic. It just... is. Just like there is nothing inherently magical about lightbulbs or refrigerators or record players. Except to someone who doesn't know the first thing about technology they might -- at first glance -- seem magical. But to an -- electrician(?) -- electrician, they hold no mysteries.
There is certainly no magic to the tin of colored pencils. The tin itself was bought from an army surplus store, and the leaves are just acrylic paint. Blue leans forward and works the lid free. It sticks a little before coming loose and revealing the color pencils within. It's obvious by length which ones are her favorites. The blues and greens are short and stubby while pinks and reds stretch across the length of the tin. She sets the lid on the floor next to the box, and nudges the box towards Jack so he can pick the color he likes.
"On the bottom half of the page they're really clear," Blue says, spreading her fingers over the open spread of the journal as if smoothing it down might reveal more of the faint pencil marks on the top half of the pages. She leans forward, squinting at the paper. The words aren't as illegible as she first thought. Now that she's read Jack's letters, it's easier to see the shapes of words in the slanted and scrawled lines.
From across the hallway comes a loud blast of music. Not quite the angry music of Jack's foster home, perhaps, but certainly not the soft and round tones of Dolly Parton and Elvis Presley from down below.
"Persephone," Calla's voice rings out, sharp like a bell. "Headphones!"
There's no shouted reply, but the music cuts off as abruptly as it started.
By the lack of reaction on Blue's part, perhaps it's obvious that this is a common occurrence.
"Do you want me to take notes or try to read?" she glances over at him, the hand closest to him hovering halfway across the knee that nearly touches hers.
Jack examines the contents, figures she's probably going to want a blue one for herself (it's even her name), and then goes for a purple-y lavender one. He doesn't really have a favorite color, he thinks — or at least, he hasn't developed a strong opinion yet, because it hasn't really mattered — but if pressed, he'd probably choose purple. Besides, it kind of works with her blue, in a strange way.
He pretends he doesn't visibly startle at the sudden noise; maybe if he plays it off she'll think it was a cough or something rather than that he's a total scaredy-cat (he's trying to stop calling himself a pussy, something his dad drilled into his head for a long time; advice from his social worker).
"Take notes, like... I read it to you, and you write some parts down?" Which seems like an intimidating prospect, but he soon realizes the alternative is awkwardly sitting there silently while she struggles to read his crappy handwriting. "...I guess we could do that, but if it starts to get annoying or you don't... like it, you have to tell me, okay? My reading voice or the story or the writing it down or... anything."
He's stepping outside of his comfort zone in so many little ways today it's a wonder he hasn't given himself some kind of hernia.
But a lot of it has been good. Rewarding, positive reinforcement. If it keeps going well, today might crack his shell a little. Not fully peel it away like his cast tomorrow, but... the start of something.
If Blue notices Jack's reaction -- and she definitely does, casting a furtive look his way, and only refocusing on the notebook in front of them when he relaxes again -- she doesn't say anything. She just reaches out and takes a royal blue pencil from the tin.
(As of yet, the only meaning of the word 'pussy' that Blue knows is 'cat'. It'll change quick enough. Elementary school has a tendency to teach more than core curriculum. But once she does, she will argue that it's a dumb way to call someone a coward. And also that there's little similarity between a cat and, well, that. In essence, she will agree with Jack's social worker that it's not a word he should use for himself.)
Blue nods at the question. It'll be faster if one of them reads and the other takes notes. Though she supposes she could just sit and watch him work through it on its own, but that feels like a waste. And also like she'd get bored real quick. She's never been one to sit idly and watching someone else do something.
"I'll tell you," she promises with all the solemnity of an eight year old that's just a little too old for her years. "I have a really nice notebook with a cool tree on it. We can use that, if you want."
Pencil still in hand, she clambers to her feet and dashes over to the desk. She rummages around in one of the drawers for a moment before pulling out the notebook she has in mind. She's been saving it for something special, but being a vessel for the nearly ruined stories of her new (first) best friend seems pretty special.
On the way back, she pauses at the edge of the thick and round rug, and holds the notebook out for inspection.
"Persephone drew the tree for me. She's really good at drawing. We don't have to use it. But we can if you want. Just probably shouldn't bring it to school."
"Okay," he consents to the tree without any real internal debate before she even pulls it out. It feels appropriate, considering that's where they met. That's their spot. Well, her spot, he guesses, that she lets him share now. If they're doing this together, they can do it in her notebook that she'll let him share. Apples to apples.
Actually seeing it cements the decision beyond the shadow of a doubt.
"That is a really cool tree," he murmurs; he was expecting something a little more... cartoonish isn't necessarily the right word, but definitely less real. He prefers this by a mile, even though the other way would have been fine too.
As far as not taking it to school... Some obvious, quick mental math, and "Could we keep it here? I mean... there's a lot of stories, it might take more than one day to rewrite them all. So if you want to, if you don't get bored, we could... leave it here for next time. If! You want to. We don't have to, so don't say yes if you get bored or don't- don't want me to come over or something."
This plan has the obvious benefit of keeping the book safe from Beaux or anybody else with poor intentions, but more than that... secretly, it's an excuse to come over again. It's a good reason, provided she doesn't outright dislike hanging out with him. She can keep it safe until it's all filled out, instead of him carrying it back and forth through the woods.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's only Harriet that keeps him from being too locked-up to speak, with her gentle reassurance that he's not in trouble. She's the ultimate authority here, seeing as she's the one he has to go home to. He looks from Mr. Larsen to her, and then back to Mr. Larsen's... desk, rather than his eyes.
"I was writing. And then Beaux grabbed my journal. He called me— something, and then threw it, and then tried to write— the word on my cast, but I kept moving and he's not really good at spelling anyway, so he told his friends to hold me down, except Blue told them to stop, and then they called her a name, and tried to grab her I guess because she's a girl, but then she socked him in the face and he started crying, and then his friend started crying for no reason, I guess he was scared or something, and then the teacher showed up."
A beat later, he holds up his cast, where a shaky but legible 'Fa' is scrawled in Sharpie.
"So she shouldn't be in trouble, please."
no subject
Unlike Blue, Maura doesn't let her anger spill out to the surface. But, anyone who knows the Sargents know that temper bred true from mother to daughter. Perhaps Jack can sense it though, in the way her hands fold in on themselves in her lap, or the quiet downturn of her mouth.
If Jack can sense it, quietly attuned to the mood of the room, it's quite evident that Mr. Larsen cannot. He doesn't even glance at Jack's cast, instead bearing down on Maura, his expression shifting to something almost triumphant beneath a thin veneer of professionalism.
"There you have it, Ms. Sargent," he says with a vague hand gesture. "From his own mouth, your daughter threw the first punch."
"That's what you got from his story?!" Maura retorts, voice rising an octave as she settles further back in the chair.
On the other side of Jack, Harriet leans over and puts a gentle hand atop his shoulder.
"Thank you, Jack," she says, warm and reassuring. "That was very brave of you. You can go back to the hallway now. We will sort this out."
"I think we both heard him say that Blue 'socked' Beauregard in the face," Mr. Larsen says, his artificial calm beginning to crack beneath the pressure of Maura's direct gaze.
"I think we both heard how Beauregard was being a bully," Maura snaps back.
no subject
It doesn't take any more encouragement than that single instruction for him to scamper out of the room, clicking the door shut behind him and retreating back into the seat closest to Blue.
"Your mom is mad," he says, just a subtle shade of awe in his tone. "Mad at him, I mean. It kind of looks like she wants to do to him what you did to Beau."
Evidently, even at his age the through-line between the temper of mother and daughter is clear as day. He likes Blue (a lot, she is his best friend after all, apparently), and he likes Maura (she was nice to him), but he'd rather get eaten by a shark than piss either of them off. That's the biggest take-away from today.
It takes another several minutes before the adults emerge again, with Harriet just as soft as before if not maybe... a little more amused around the eyes than what Jack would've expected after being present for a tense encounter like that.
"Are you ready to go, Jack, honey?" She asks, which is how she tells him what to do sometimes - a method he appreciates. For the first time, he hesitates, glancing between her and Blue, reluctant to leave her until he knows she's going to be alright.
no subject
She really did that.
She punched someone.
The boys won't dare do anything to her. Not with Ms. Harrison's door open. Not even Beauregard is stupid enough to start a fight right next to the literal principal's office.
Blue tucks her hands beneath her thighs, trapping them against the plastic of the seat beneath her. The knuckles on her right hand throb unhappily. No one ever told her that punching someone hurts.
You're not supposed to punch people. Fists are for people who can't use their words. Blue should've gotten a teacher. She knows all these things. She's not a troublemaker. She's a paint within the lines -- unless the lines are stupid -- kind of girl.
Her left foot bounces restlessly against the floor and her shoulders and jaw wind so tight, she's certain her teeth will crack under the pressure.
When the waiting has become almost unbearable, the door opens up again and Jack slips back into the hallway. Blue keeps her hands tucked beneath her thighs, but her foot stills against the multicolored carpet, and she pulls certainty around herself like a cloak. Jack's her best friend and he's nervous.
They can't both be nervous.
Beneath her cloak of feigned confidence, something inside Blue relaxes. Her mother being angry at the principal is a good sign.
"Mom's too clever to punch someone," she says, and maybe there's an ounce of self-deprecation in there. If she was as clever as her mom, maybe they wouldn't be here now. But then again, she's only eight. She doesn't know an argument that will keep a bully from writing a rude word on someone's cast. "She'll sort it out. You'll see."
Are you ready to go, Jack, honey?
Harriet seems really nice. Blue appreciates that she isn't like the other mom's who have simply grabbed their sons by the wrist and dragged them along with a curt we're leaving. She's asking. Which is just how it should be, as far as Blue's concerned.
She gives Jack a tight and brave little smile.
"I'll see you later, okay?" she asks. In the woods, under their tree. Or maybe tomorrow at school, but hopefully under the tree. On an impulse, she turns in her seat and throws her arms around Jack's shoulders, giving him a quick and sideways hug.
As far as hugs go, it's not especially good.
"I'd do it again, if I had to," she whispers hotly against his ear, before she lets go and gives him a solemn look of unshakeable loyalty.
no subject
Quietly, Harriet resolves to have a talk with Maura to see about letting the two of them connect a little more. It's the first time Jack's demonstrated any social ties that she's seen. He needs a friend, especially one that'll look out for him the way Blue seems intent to do.
"Thank you," is all he knows to say, because he doesn't have enough time to say you really shouldn't, I don't want you to get in trouble, it's not worth it, I can deal with it, it's nothing, I've seen way, way worse.
They turn each other loose, and he offers her one last hesitant wave with his cast hand before the two of them disappear from the office.
Jack is surprised and relieved to learn that he isn't in any kind of trouble. Quite the opposite, in fact — Harriet takes him to dinner, just the two of them, no foster siblings to tag along. They have a quiet talk about standing up for himself, and about what trouble really means, and how he'll know if he's in it, and what he can expect if she's ever upset. He only cries once, and she buys him a sundae.
This is also the day Harriet learns that Blue is his tree reading partner. Unfortunately, by the time they get back from dinner, it's already almost dark. Having learned what the phone policy is, he's actually a little sad he never got around to getting Blue's number.
no subject
Blue's sneakers scuff against the carpet as she slides off her chair. Trailing after Maura towards the door, she pauses to throw a look over her shoulder and stick her tongue out at Bo. His face goes red, and Blue feels a deep kind of satisfaction warming the pit of her belly.
As it turns out, there is no lifetime expulsion from school, no suspension (in or out of school) for Blue. But there is also no going out for dinner after complete with a surprise sundae. What there is, however, is a lengthy discussion during the car ride home about what other tools Blue has in her tool box to resolve arguments before resorting to violence.
It's not a lecture. Maura doesn't give lectures. Instead, they reason it out together. By the time the gravel of 300 Fox Way's driveway crunches beneath the tires of the Volvo, they are in agreement that if (when, Blue corrects her mother glumly) it happens again, the right thing to do is to involve an adult.
Only once Blue has worked her feet free of her shoes and Maura has briefed Calla and Persephone on the series of events leading her to need the Volvo for the afternoon, does the subject turn to Jack. Maura has a lot of questions, and Blue answers them dutifully while helping to prepare for dinner.
The house is unseasonably quiet. It's not a day to slip unnoticed into the woods.
Persephone disappears into her room to work on her thesis while Calla joins them in the kitchen, with an apron tied around her waist and brandishing a potato peeler. Occasionally, she breaks into Maura's line of questioning with wholly irrelevant commentary. (Is the milk still good? -- Actually I don't think it is. -- Oven-roasted or just boiled? -- We can't do mashed potatoes without milk. -- Oh, is there half-and-half in there? -- Have you ever made mashed potatoes with half and half? -- No? Can't see why it wouldn't work. Might even be creamier.)
Blue spends all of dinner near vibrating off her chair, her gaze drawn again and again to the kitchen window facing the woods. She should be out there right now, under her tree, waiting for Jack. She needs to let him know that she is fine. It's important. Except by the time dinner is over, and the washing up is done, the sun is already dipping down below the horizon.
Blue's whole face screws up in deep thought.
"I'd like to go into the woods," she tells her mother as she finishes wiping off the last plate with a flourish.
Maura looks through the window at the fading light.
"At this hour?" she asks.
Blue's chest sinks and she curls her fingers around the edge of the counter.
"Jack might be there," she explains quietly. She draws her lower lip in between her teeth, slowly chewing on it. The longer the silence between them, the sharper the pressure of her teeth.
"How about we go together then?" Maura asks, finally breaking the silence. The woods can be a dangerous place in the dark. But she's never been one to tell her daughter what to do or not to do. At least not in so many words.
Blue considers the offer, fingertips tapping restlessly against the counter as she thinks. They make a sound like hoofs of a tiny herd of galloping horses, moving at the same speed of her mind as she thinks.
Ten minutes later, leaves and sticks crunching beneath their shoes, Maura and Blue find Blue's beech tree empty.
"You will see him at school tomorrow," Maura says, giving Blue's hand a light squeeze.
Disappointment piles onto Blue's chest, its weight near crushing. She stares at the smooth bark of her tree, and the empty space between its roots, and then she nods.
"Yeah," Blue says. She sticks her free hand into the pocket of the coat her mother insist she wear, curling her fingers up tight against her palm, and tries to pretend she is feeling nothing at all.
The next morning at school, Blue arrives before the school bus, dropped off by Calla on her way to Aglionby Academy. (No need to tempt fate.) She swings immediately by Jack's desk, leaving a folded up notebook paper on his desk on top of a brand new composition journal.
The note, if he opens it, reads:
Dear Jack,
I wasn't in much trouble at all. Don't be worried. My mother just wants me to explore other avenues before resorting to violence. I think that is very reasonable. We had chicken, broccoli, and. mashed potatoes made with half and half for dinner. It was okay. I don't really like broccoli. The journal is from mom. She still has yours and it is drying out. She thinks if we give it a little time, you might be able to salvage a lot of what you wrote, but she doesn't want to invade your privacy so maybe you want to come over some day and look? We don't have boys in the house often, except professionally, but you are always very welcome. If you still want to, mom is going to ask your Harriet if you can come to the bookstore on Sunday.
xoxo
Blue
no subject
The classroom is already half full by the time Jack turns up, and although he wants to immediately go up to Blue, his awkwardness gets the better of him. What's he going to do? Hug her in front of everyone? Not a chance. Say hi and run out of stuff to say almost immediately? She might not want to talk about what happened the day before in front of everyone. Instead, all he manages is an uncertain pause, and a wave of his cast-hand, and then a hesitant break-away to head back to his desk.
Where a composition journal sits. He lights up immediately, flipping the thing open just to get a look at the empty white pages. There's something strangely soothing about an empty notebook full of lined paper. It's so... clean, not yet ruined, full of possibility and space. Of course, the note is an immediate distraction.
Several facts get filed away one after another, and after a couple of seconds he digs around in his bag to pull out a spiral notebook to tear a page out — there are perforations, there's no way he's ripping an ugly eyesore into his new journal.
He does his best to make his handwriting... marginally less illegible.
Dear Blue,
I'm glad you didn't get in trouble. I'm also glad about the choice not to fight. Don't get me wrong, you kicked that guy's ass and it was awesome, but you really don't have to worry about me like that. I've had way worse than whatever Beau tries to do. He's not really very creative.
Harriet took me to Friendly's for dinner. She got me a Sunday, so that was pretty cool. What is half and half? Half of what?
I would love to come over, but it's okay if it's ruined. It was just stupid stories and stuff that I wrote, not homework or anything, so it doesn't really matter.
Harriet already said I could go to the bookstore with you, and also that if you want to call some time as long as it's before 9 pm and I answer any beeps and don't hog the phone, that would be okay. If you want to. Not that you have to. I'm not very good at talking to people, so it might not be an enjoyable experience. It might still be a good idea for your mom to call, just so they're on the same page.
I'm sorry I didn't show up at the tree. I don't know if you wanted me to, but just in case you did, it's because we were at Friendly's until it got dark.
I'm also sorry this is so long. I write a lot. I guess maybe it's to balance out the fact that I don't talk a lot.
Anyway, thank you for helping me yesterday, and also for being my friend.
He debates writing love at the end, because he's pretty sure that's how most people end letters, but it might seem weird to do here. He settles on a simple:
Jack.
He can't give her the note back until they're all lined up for a bathroom break. He offers it out as discreetly as possible, in case it's supposed to be some kind of secret affair, or in case it would embarrass her to be seen writing notes with him.
no subject
The pinched look on her face is immediately replaced by something a little softer and more cheerful the moment she glances up to see his narrow shoulders and bright cast. She gives him a quick wave that's little more than a fanning out of her fingers like a wave crashing across her desk. When he makes his way to his desk, she twists in her seat, tracking his path with her whole body. It's unfortunate, that he's sitting so far behind her. It's not exactly conducive to surreptitious glances his way.
The look on his face when he picks up the blank journal sends a little jolt of warmth through Blue's chest. The first leaf of spring unfurling just below her ribs. If it wasn't for their teacher walking into the room and clearing her throat, Blue likely would've watched Jack as intently as a small hawk while he read and replied to her note. But, as it stands, she tugs her attention away from him and forces it onto the whiteboard instead.
During class -- if it's a subject she likes -- Blue is normally a diligent student. But even though Ms. Klein is talking about trees and their different leaves -- a subject bound to keep Blue's rapt attention on a normal day -- she can't stop fidgeting in her seat. For once, she can't wait for the lunch break. Not because it'll finally let her read uninterrupted again, but because it's her best chance to talk to Jack again.
Her best friend.
(Should they have talked about it first? The friendship thing? Blue feels like it was kind of implied since they shared that cupcake under the tree, but maybe Jack feels differently. But, blood has been shed over it, which she feels kind of seals the deal here.)
Too many thoughts make it difficult to concentrate on the difference between a maple tree leaf and a birch tree leaf. Even Bo, glowering past the ugly bruise squatting on the bridge of his nose and sending tendrils of dark purple and blue just below his eyes, at her doesn't steal as much of her concentration as Jack merely existing somewhere to her left behind her.
When the break is announced, Blue clambers to her feet quicker than anyone else, and then proceeds to waste just enough time getting to the other end of the classroom so they end up next to each other. Blue takes the note with the same level of discretion as it is offered, tucking it in her pocket like a spy and giving him a small, but determined nod.
Message received.
In the bathroom, Blue locks the stall and sits down before she retrieves the note from her pocket, unfolding it and reading it greedily. She reads it twice and starts on a third time before another girl pounds on the door of her stall.
Blue tucks the note back away, and slinks out of the stall with a somewhat guilty look on her face. Rather than lingering in the hallway of the restrooms, she hurries back to her desk, turning his note over and writing quickly on the back of it.
It takes the rest of the break and most of the next class for her to compose her response. Her mind keeps snagging on the fourth sentence and making her brow furrow with concern she can't quite convey onto paper.
Dear Jack,
I can't both be your friend and not worry about you. They are mutually exclusive. Friends worry about friends. Bo is a stupid jerk. I don't think he will try again. But if he does. I will first try to find a teacher. But he is not allowed to take your journal or throw it in the mud. Or write rude things on your cast. I can't stand idly by and let that happen. Do you know who stood idly by? Nazis. That's how we got the holocaust.
Friendly's is really nice. I like their french fries a lot. Mom says a sundae is just dressed up ice cream. But I like it a lot too.
Half and half is HALF milk, HALF cream. I like mashed potatoes better with just milk. But the milk had gone bad and Jimi keeps half and half for her coffee.
I think stories matter more than homework. I can help you write up new ones. If you want. Or you can read them to me after. If you want.
I will ask mom to call so they can do that grownup thing. I think my mom would like that. She says your Harriet is "good people". That's a good thing. We have a phone in the cat/sewing room so I could call you. Mom can probably find Harriet in the phone book. Or you can give me your number and I can call sometime maybe.
I'm not good on the phone either. It's no fun talking when you can't see the other person.
Mom and I went to the tree just in case. She wanted to walk with me since it was getting dark. I'm glad you weren't there waiting for me. Dinner and dishes took a long time and I couldn't sneak out. So it's a good thing. You might have sat there all alone for a long time and then I would have felt bad.
You can come over after school if you want. We can meet at the tree and then we can walk over. Or you can ride home with me. Or we can just meet at the tree. My house gets VERY loud sometimes.
I don't mind that this is long. I like reading.
You are welcome for yesterday and for being your friend. But I don't think that is something you are supposed to thank someone for.
Did you have a chance to read some yesterday? I only read a little before bed and not for long because mom came to check on me.
xoxo
Blue
This time, Blue doesn't run ahead when they break for lunch. Instead she lingers in the doorway, waiting for Jack to come join her. Under the watchful eyes of Ms. Klein, Beau passes her with nothing but a low grumble of discontent that might be bitch or witch. Blue can't tell. Her face lights up in a smile when Jack finally makes his way over though. She slips her hand immediately in his and tugs him along towards the cafeteria.
"I wrote you a reply," she says, low and under her breath. In case they are still being secret. "You don't have to read it now, you can wait until after lunch."
All of Blue's intentions are interrupted by an older girl materializing the moment they enter the cafeteria. A fourth or fifth grader by the look of her, she's wearing a bright orange dress and a matching bow in her hair. She blows a bubble with her bubblegum, and considers the two of them.
Blue darkens significantly.
"You Jack?" the girl asks, visibly unimpressed.
"Orla," Blue says. The name a curse in her mouth. "What are you doing here?"
"Manners," Orla admonishes her. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"
Blue rolls her eyes and slips her hand out of Jack's.
"Orla-Jack, Jack-Orla," she says waving her now-free hand vaguely between them. "Orla is my cousin. We live together. Orla. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"
"We're having lunch together," Orla says brightly. "Don't look at me like that. Mom's idea."
Blue heaves a very heavy sigh and gives Jack a look to say that she is very, very sorry about this turn of events.
"We're sitting outside," she tells Orla. "You should just sit with your friends. We're fine."
Except that's not how it happens. Orla clearly takes her mission very seriously, and she sticks close by for the entirety of lunch. Blue's lips squash tight together, and she picks at her lunch. Thankfully(?), Orla talks enough for all three of them.
no subject
Besides, even if he wanted to, Blue tugs him along with determination and in a hurry. He hasn't quite mastered reading and walking yet. He's been working on it. Maybe it'll be easier without the cast.
And then there's an older girl he's never even seen before, much less talked to. For one brief, terrifying second, he thinks maybe Beau sent her to beat him up or something. His relief might be a little bit visible when it becomes apparent Blue knows her.
The introduction leaves a little to be desired, but he offers her a small cast-wave and a tentative, "Hi."
Not much time for more than that, there's a line forming and impatiently urging them along. Jack's got a packed lunch from home, in a neat blue cooler-bag with his name printed in permanent marker along the flap. Too neat to be his handwriting, though only Blue would know that. It matches the lunch bags all his foster siblings carry in every way except color, and it contains a Lunchable, an apple, and some juice. Way better than any lunch he ever got from his dad — not a guaranteed thing, and often supplemented by teacher-paid pity lunches he was too hungry to turn down.
Once they all sit down, the tension (mostly one-sided, he notes) is palpable and uncomfortable. He aims to break it with an offering of, "I like your bow."
He doesn't, really. He doesn't care for orange, and he's not all that into bows, but it doesn't hurt to offer somebody a compliment when you're trying to get on their good side. It seems to work well enough, because Orla talks them through most of the lunch period, and Jack's privately relieved he doesn't have to fill in much silence himself.
When he finally gets around to reading Blue's note, that bit about the Nazis leaves him blinking. Well, that escalated quickly. He guesses she's technically right, and in her defense, he has heard Beau spouting some distinctly uncomfortable things about 'the oppressed whites'.
He writes his return-letter on a fresh sheet of paper.
Dear Blue,
I think I misspelled sundae in that last note. That's pretty dumb, pretend that didn't happen. Sundaes might just be dressed up ice cream, but tuxedos are just dressed up clothes, and they still make you wear those to weddings and funerals. If you have to have one, I think you probably deserve to get the other. Like a consolation prize.
I've never had coffee. Have you? Is it good?
If I let you read my stories, do you promise not to make fun of me? You can
criticcritgive me feedback if you want, that's okay, just as long as it's serious. We can also try to write one together some time, too.Your mom is right about Harriet, she's the nicest person I've ever met. It's really weird. The house I'm at now is kind of like a TV sitcom family house, or like the pictures you see of rich people with golden retrievers in magazines. It's like aliens. But I'm not complaining, it's really good.
Here is my phone number
#505-503-4455
I think I should meet you at the tree, since I can't ask Harriet if I can ride home with you yet. I'll go home and tell her first, and then if I'm allowed, I'll meet you there. Are you sure I'm allowed at your house, since boys don't come there very often? I don't want to get you in trouble or make your mom not like me.
I got to read only like a chapter :( sorry I'm taking so long. I'm almost done and then you can borrow it.
Jack
P.S. I really hope Beau throwing my notebook in the mud isn't the beginning of a chain of events that will eventually lead to the next Holocaust. Although, I guess you probably stopped that before it could start, so good job.
P.P.S. I'm getting my cast off on Saturday.
In a bold maneuver, he gets up to sharpen his pencil and drops the note on her desk on the way back. Ms. Klein doesn't notice. He's too quiet, and he has a reputation for being unobtrusive. Most people tend not to notice him, or their eyes pass right over him like their subconscious has scratched him off as a potential trouble-making threat.
no subject
They sit down, Blue a thunder cloud in miniature, and Orla entirely uncaring. The tension sitting in the corners of Blue's jaw and the joints of her shoulders doesn't dissipate, but Jack's compliment sends Orla down into a happy monologue about fashion and the importance of matching accessories to your clothes.
Orla tears her sandwich in pieces, popping them into her mouth between sentences. Somehow managing to keep talking while never exactly speaking with her mouth full. Blue takes too big bites of hers and chews it glumly while Orla keeps up her non-stop monologue. By the end of lunch, Orla is gesturing with her apple core to emphasize her words, and Blue crumbles the paper bag up around her own, still uneaten apple, and shoves it back into her backpack.
Returning to class does little to improve Blue's mood. It seems unfair, somehow, that she be subjected to Orla at lunch and then math immediately after. A couple of months into first grade, math was unequivocally her favorite subject. Somewhere down the road it took a weird turn, and now she can't stand it.
Blue brightens when the note drops on her desk. Furtively, she spreads it open, tucking it halfway beneath her math workbook so she can read while pretending she's working on addition.
Thankfully, Ms. Klein is paying more attention to Miles and Travis, jostling each other every minute or so, than to Blue who keeps casting little less-than-surreptitious glances over her shoulder after each paragraph she finishes. Like she can somehow psychically impart her responses straight into Jack's brain or somehow read his.
Blue speeds through the assigned pages in the workbook like she has a book waiting for her in her desk. Once she's finished them, she turns Jack's note over and begins scribbling away at a response.
Dear Jack,
I am really (REALLY) sorry about Orla. She only reads girl books and listens to stupid music WAY too loud. She is NOT my friend. We just live in the same house.
I think sundae is a pretty dumb word. It sounds like it should be spelled "sunday" and I think it's unfair to try to trick people like that. I like the comparison between tuxedos and ice cream. I think that's really clever. But I'm not sure I understand the last part. Do you mean if we have to dress up for funerals we should also get sundaes? If you do I think that is a good point. If you have to go to a funeral you should get to go out for sundaes after. If not I still think you should get a sundae after a funeral.
I have tried coffee a couple of times. I would not say it's good. It's sort of okay if you put sugar and half and half in it. But without anything in it? It tastes angry. Does that make sense? I know angry isn't a flavor but I don't know how else to describe it.
I promise I will never make fun of your stories if you let me read them. I will tell you what I think of them. But nicely. I am better at reading than writing. But I can try.
Your house sounds very nice. My house is very crowded and very loud. We always have aunts and cousins over and mom works in the drawing room. It's best not to go into the drawing room without an invitation.
I have written your phone number down on my hand. I will write it down on the list by the phone in the cat/sewing room when I get home so I can call you whenever. As long as it's before 9 PM.
I will meet you at the tree after school then. If you don't show up I know it's because Harriet said no. I was already going to go there to read anyway so it's okay if you can't come out. I will talk with my mom about you coming over. But I think it's okay. You are my best friend and it's my home. So you should be allowed over whenever.
You apologize too much. It's not your fault that yesterday was weird. I have plenty of books to read before I borrow yours. Don't worry about it.
/Blue
P.S. If someone in town is going to start the next holocaust it would probably be Bo. And people ignoring what he does even when it's mean. But that's not what I was saying. I'm just saying that I am not a person who can stand by and watch someone I care about be hurt without doing anything.
P.P.S. That's really cool. How come you are in a cast anyway? Or is that too big a question?
Unfortunately, there is no plausible excuse that would bring Blue to the back of the classroom, so once she folds up her carefully crafted response and tucks it in the pocket of her skirt, it has to wait for recess to be delivered.
At recess, Blue gives up any pretense of subterfuge and works her way to the back of the classroom like a salmon swinging upstream. She grabs Jack by the hand and pulls him over to where they line up against the wall to wait to be released onto the playground.
"Fifth grade has recess after we do," she tells him in a very serious voice. Translation: no risk of being interrupted by Orla. "I think we should head for the swings. They're pretty popular, so we have to be quick. But it's okay if we don't make it. There's an okay tree behind the slide and we can sit under it."
no subject
Just like at lunch, Jack doesn't read the note he's passed during recess. It's tucked away in his pocket for later, and all his solemn attention is devoted to Blue. For the moment, it seems like her word is Law, and thus the Swing Set Decree was written.
If he's honest, even if they don't make it there, he's just happy to have somebody to hang out with now. Hell, he's happy to have somebody to stand in line with. Kids in his class often group themselves up in the same two or three person pods, with him trailing along somewhere between a set without feeling wholly comfortable with the people in front of or behind him.
Standing with her feels dangerously like he belongs somewhere.
They make it to the swings, but there's only one left by the time they get there. He's not particularly disappointed, his heart wasn't really set on it anyway, so he offers, "I don't mind. I can push you if you want?"
A beat, and then he hastily clarifies.
"I mean, not... push you off of it, just- you know how sometimes you see people standing behind somebody swinging and—" It's about this time he realizes she's not an idiot, she knows what he means, so he wraps it up with a lame, "That."
He's never done it before, or had anyone do it to him. That's the kind of thing you only do with friends, or that kids' parents do for them. It seems nice. If she lets him, he'll be diligently gentle and conscientious, and... probably put way too much thought into perfecting his technique so he doesn't mess up somehow.
He doesn't get the chance to write back. School ends surprisingly quick, he's a little startled to realize it's the end of the day when the final bell rings. He walks out with her marginally less awkwardly than any time before, and parts with a goodbye wave and a, "See you later."
He finishes what homework he didn't do during his free time immediately after he gets home, shows Harriet his composition notebook, and asks if he can go to Blue's house if her mom says yes. He's given her blessing, and out the door earlier than ever, book in hand, completely forgetting he should write a note back.
no subject
With a hand curled around one of the chains of the swing, to avoid someone stealing their prize from them, her whole body turned towards him, Blue pauses to consider the offer. She purses her lips and twists her mouth to one side. It's not because of his clumsy offer. She knows exactly what he means. But because it isn't exactly fair. (The world isn't fair, Calla always says. But it should be.) Objectively, being the one on the swing is the best. Being the one doing the pushing is considerably less fun. Add in his cast -- even if he doesn't hurt himself, one handed pushing always ends up slightly lopsided -- and she's less than convinced.
"Okay," she says, but there's a dubious note to the word as she drags two syllables out into three. "But tomorrow, if we can only get one swing, I will push you."
The promised compromise makes her feel better, and she climbs onto the swing. Rather than push herself off and swing with her normal vigor -- like she's trying to kick the sun -- she starts out gentle and slow, letting him set the pace. It's not the best time she's ever had on the swing set. But it's not the worst and it's definitely nicer to have a friend than to swing determinedly alone.
When the bell rings, and everyone ambles back towards the school building with considerably less speed and enthusiasm than when they left it, Blue slips her hand back into Jack's good hand. Like that's just where it belongs.
After recess is specials, and Mrs. Littleman's music classroom is not a place where notes can be written or passed. Still, Blue feels a stitch of disappointment when the end of the school day isn't accompanied by another note for her to unfold and read in the car home. Just a quick see you later that she reciprocates with a smile.
But when Calla pulls up, Orla materializes out of nowhere with one of her friends, and all three of them have to cram into the backseat. Pressed up against the door to keep from having to cuddle up against one of the type of girls Orla thinks make good friends, Blue thinks it's probably for the best that she doesn't have a note to read. Orla would catch it and Make Fun. Arguably one of the worst outcomes.
At home, the doors of the drawing room are closed. Meaning Maura's with a client. Meaning Blue can't immediately talk to her about Jack coming over. Blue takes up post at the bottom of the staircase with a book in her lap and hopes that it isn't one of the elderly ladies who visit regularly in there. They all like to talk (and talk and talk and talk) and Blue really wants to catch Maura before dinner.
Finally (four chapters later when the dragon begins winding its slow way towards the castle), the door opens and a man Blue has never seen before leaves in a hurry. Inside the drawing room, Maura is carefully gathering up the tarot cards from the reading and shuffling them back into her deck.
Blue waits for the door to close behind the man, and then she counts to five before she stands up and walks (calmly) to the drawing room. The scent of warm candle wax and dusty curtains wafts up to meet her.
"I'm meeting Jack in the woods and I'd like to bring him home so we can look at his journal and maybe remake it and can he stay for dinner?" she asks in one breath, hovering by the threshold of the room.
No less than ten minutes later, Blue comes crashing out of the woods, holding her book like a shield. Any tension immediately bleeds out of her when she sees Jack and she gives him a quick wave with her book. Phone conversations will make their lives infinitely less stressful.
"Jack! Hi!" she says, smiling and breathless. "Did she say yes? Can you come? Mom says there'll be enough dinner for you if you want to stay, but she has to call Harriet and ask if it's okay first. I gave her your number and she wrote it down on the list in the cat and sewing room."
His number is on the list. Their best friendship is officially official.
no subject
That's no small feat, for the record.
Blue's mom really must be psychic, he thinks, because calling Harriet to ask about dinner would have been his first answer. She agreed to going over, but dinner wasn't discussed, and there's the passive expectation that he be back around that time. He really hopes she says yes — not because he doesn't like her cooking, but having dinner with somebody is a new and exciting (and... terrifying) prospect.
He's pretty sure she'll say yes. It feels like she says yes to almost anything so far — though he's not too keen on stretching that until he gets a no.
"She said I could. I didn't ask her about dinner, so we'll have to see about that, but I can come over until then anyway." Any other day he'd probably check to see if she wanted to sit under the tree and read a while first, but the pull toward seeing her house is too strong, and gets him walking back the way she came from pretty quickly.
He has... so many questions he wants to ask, but he doesn't want to cram them all into the first two minutes, so he opts for just the one that's probably most important.
"Um, are there... rules that I should know? Like, take my shoes off at the door, don't make noise, speak when spoken to, stay out of the living room, anything like that?"
He really, really doesn't want to accidentally get in trouble or mess it up the first time he shows up. The desire for her mom to like him feels heavily weighted and urgent — more than he even notices in himself, more than he's consciously aware of.
no subject
Blue doesn't even realize how close he is to the end of the book. But if she did, she'd be impressed. And maybe feel a little guilty; she's not sure she's a good enough friend to do the same for him. Depends on the circumstance perhaps, and definitely on the book. But a new one that's part of a series? That's a tough one.
It might seem impossible, but the confirmation that Jack is allowed to come over, brightens Blue's smile significantly until she's beaming like a small sun. Maybe some day, she will learn how to cloud her emotions, be a little less obvious, but at this age, her face is still an open book. She nods impatient understanding about dinner. Maura will have to sort all of that out with Harriet. That's a grown-up thing.
The only thing stopping her from grabbing him by the hand and physically tugging him down the well-worn path home is the fact that he has only one hand in which to carry his book. As a compromise of sorts, she shifts her book to one hand, and slips her fingers around his elbow, fingertips pressing against the inside of the bend.
The question gives Blue pause, her feet faltering against the familiar path for a second before finding themselves again, and her whole face screwing up in thought. Are those normal rules for normal families? In kindergarten, when kids still followed the rules to invite everyone in the class to their birthday parties, Blue dutifully attended. Other than the delight of store-bought frosting, the one thing she got out of the experience was the bone-deep and certain knowledge that her family is different.
So maybe those rules are all normal. Except they all sound terrible. Maybe that's why the other kids at school are so miserable all the time.
"Umm," she says, throwing her gaze up at the little pieces of sky visible through the reaching branches overhead and thinking really, really hard. There's a certain air of expectation emanating from Jack and she doesn't want to disappoint him by having nothing. "Not really. My mom takes her shoes off inside, but that's mostly 'cause she hates shoes. She says they're an unnatural barrier between her and mother nature. You don't have to though."
Blue chews on the inside of her cheek, her sneakers slapping against the ground.
"Everyone makes noise. All. The. Time. You can speak whenever you want to--" It doesn't seem quite enough still; Blue wants to give him some hard and fast rules to go by. Problem is, there aren't many in 300 Fox Ways other than the obvious, mostly unspoken ones. Like: if you are having a long shower in the single bathroom, don't lock the door. But that doesn't really seem applicable here.
"I guess-- If the door of the drawing room is closed, you shouldn't go in there. Any other closed door, just knock first." Blue gives him a sideways look to see if that answer fulfills the question.
The trees begin thin out, revealing a powder blue, wooden town house with a wrap around porch. The paint is fresh, painted on there by Maura, Calla, Persephone, and a slew of passing through aunts and cousins.
Once they make their way inside, the first impression might be bright, colorful, and cluttered. Like at least three people with fully furnished houses moved in together and instead of discarding whatever they had extras of, or trying to pick the best matching sets, just crammed it all in there. It looks, to Blue, like home.
The second impression, will most certainly be loud.
In the kitchen, the radio is on, playing a Dolly Parton song much too loud. From the drawing room, Elvis Presley croons how he can't help falling in love with you accompanied by the gentle and rich crackle of a vinyl record being played.
"Mooooooom," Orla's voice rings through the house from upstairs. "Edith and I are going to her place."
"Did you do your homework?!" Jimi bellows back in her deep and rich voice.
"No! We're gonna finish it at her place!"
"Has anyone seen my scarf with the dangly coins on it?" Calla calls out from deep inside of a closet. "I'm gonna be late."
"Have you tried the laundry?" Persephone's voice sounds like a whisper, even though it's loud to carry all the way downstairs.
"I used it yesterday, remember?" Maura calls up from the kitchen. "Check the chair in my bedroom."
no subject
If he can make her happy like that, then he wants to keep doing it. If he's able to, then he should. It makes him feel...
Safe? Is that the word for what he feels? Maybe there's a better one he's just not familiar with yet.
Slightly less safe feeling: the cacophony of noise at Blue's house. It's not quite like the noise of his foster siblings — that's almost all squabble, all taking place over his head, bickering and turbulent, pounding footsteps, slamming doors, somebody listening to music that's mainly made up of people screaming. He doesn't really understand the appeal. Why would you want to listen to someone be angry?
No, here is all... conversation and music, less of a frustrated chaos and more people just being completely comfortable with their environment. Completely unconcerned that the sounds they make or words they say are going to upset anybody in any significant way. It sounds like really loud love. What an utterly foreign concept.
He decides not to take his shoes off. He's content with the relationship he currently has with mother earth, and he's not sure that he's ready to take anything to the next level with her yet. Blue's answer with one solid rule did satisfy him, but the problem is he has absolutely no idea what or where a drawing room is, and so no idea which place not to go.
It's okay, he's just going to trail her like a lost dog, he figures. That's probably written in his eyes when he flashes a look at her — just a little wide, primarily uncertain; what do we do now? What do people do when they go over each other's houses? Is he supposed to shake hands with anybody or something? Do they go get his journal now or... play something, or talk, or find a new room to ignore each other and read?
no subject
On a normal day, she would kick her shoes off onto the haphazard shoe pile below which there might once have been a shoe rack. Not because of any pressing need to feel closer to mother nature or anything. Just habit. But Jack leaves his shoes on and she doesn't want him to feel alone in his decision.
In the kitchen, Maura is humming along to the radio while she gently picks the leaves from a bundle of dried herbs. She's in a tunic that barely touches the knots of her ankles, her feet bare, and dangling bracelets clicking together on each of her wrists. She looks up at the small whirlwind that is her daughter and gives Jack a smile.
"Hi, Jack," she says, setting down the bundle of herbs with a fragrant rustle. "It's nice to see you again."
Blue's fingers slip free of Jack's arm and she leaves him standing on the threshold of the kitchen. The floorboards creak beneath her as she makes her way past the sink and begins lifting flowers and bunches of leaves in various stages of drying.
"Where'd you put Jack's journal?" she asks, impatiently, rummaging through the herbs and sending little puffs of scent up into the air.
"On the drying rack, on your left," Maura replies calmly, without looking away from Jack. "It's looking a little bit better this afternoon. How are you today, Jack?"
Her voice is patient and kind and she shifts so she can lean forward in her chair without the table separating the two of them.
no subject
He stands where Blue left him, hovering in the doorway, shifting from one foot to the other while he debates on whether or not he ought to follow her in, or if they're just going to be turning around and leaving again as soon as she does... whatever she's doing. His eyes travel from Maura to Blue to the drying rack, then back to Maura again.
"I'm okay," by which he means good, but okay came out and it immediately feels too late to correct it without it sounding dumb. "Thank you for letting me come over. I like your house."
Unlike his bow compliment from before, he does mean it this time. It's big and loud, but even to someone as unfamiliar with the concept of home-y as he is, the feeling is obvious. He likes the clutter of furniture, the favoring of comfortable things with a disregard for any strict rules of interior design — but without everything being covered in cigarette burns and weird stains like his mom and dad's trailer was.
It's not that his house isn't comfortable or anything, it's just... different. Full of deliberate choices.
If he were a couple years older, if he were the version of himself he'll eventually start to grow into once he gets more comfortable in his own skin and around strangers as the abuse fades to the background, he'd have asked what's with the leaves? One of many questions floating around in there, like you have a sewing cat room? Do the cats sew, or do you sew cats?
no subject
Still, she saw nothing.
The sound came again, soft and trembling, and despite the rain and her cream-colored dress, Maura Sargent laid down on the pavement. When her eyes met the darkness beneath the car for the third time, one of the shadows resolved themselves into a kitten. As they locked eyes, the kitten's mouth open wide -- too wide almost -- for the quiet squeak that came out of it.
Maura reached beneath the car, straining her shoulder, and her fingers closed around the kitten's slight body. She could feel the poor thing's heartbeat thundering against her palm, the shivers that took over each rain-soaked limb vibrating through her fingers.
It made exactly one sound, a gentle cry when she pulled it out into the light.
The rain fell harder on both of them as Maura sat up and cradled the small creature against her chest. She could see now, its twisted back leg, and the fear that paralyzed it.
Maura drove the whole way home with water dripping from her hair down the nape of her neck, the heat running uncomfortably high, and the small kitten curled precariously in her lap.
Watching Jack now, Maura is reminded by nothing as much as that kitten (now a full grown cat and perched happily atop the sewing machine upstairs, purring in his sleep) and the part of her that's already soft for any friend of Blue's softens further.
"Thank you," she says, careful not to let her smile grow too wide. "I like it too."
"Why did you have to put a thousand herbs on it?" Blue complains, pushing thyme and rosemary and mugwort and sage out of the way until she can see the upturned and flattened out pages of Jack's journal. She grips it by a corner, pouring the remaining drying leaves back onto the drying rack.
"I'm very glad you could come visit," Maura continues to Jack before turning her head to her daughter. "They all needed space to dry and now it'll smell better."
Judging by Blue's exasperated noise as she wipes any remaining leaves or plant parts off the journal, she is very unimpressed by the explanation.
"I am experimenting with making tea," Maura explains to Jack, reaching out and plucking a leave from the bushy and dried bundle she's left on the table. "Different kinds to help with different things."
"Don't try any," Blue cuts in. Deeming it as-good-as-it-will-get, she flips the journal shut. "They all taste worse than coffee. Mom, can you call Harriet so Jack can have dinner with us?"
On her way back from the sink to the threshold where she left Jack, Blue is caught by her mother who gives her a quick and one-armed hug. Blue rolls her eyes, but stands still so Maura can press a quick and affectionate kiss against her cheek.
"Sure," Maura says and she releases her gentle grip. "As long as it is what Jack wants."
"It is," Blue affirms with a glance at Jack to solicit backup. "We're going to my room to work on the journal."
no subject
Seeing the casual affection roll between them... It's even a little more appealing than the gentle kindness he gets from Harriet, who still feels a couple steps removed from actually filling in a mom role for him. If he had to identify examples of what that role looks like, well... it's this.
And don't even get him started on how bizarre it is to witness Blue just saying stuff to her without a care in the world — the kind of things that would get him thrown out of a moving car and then some.
He nods emphatically at what Jack wants, forcing himself to tune back into the moment. He does, even if Blue answers for him and then promptly drag him out of the room. He manages another wave and a soft, "Thank you," before the pair of them are gone from the room, and he's back to drinking in the sight of absolutely everything on their travels toward Blue's room.
no subject
But Maura gives Jack a smile and a nod that's as good as any promise before Blue bodily pulls him out of the room and towards the stairs.
"It's not there, Maura!" Calla calls from above.
"Let me check the drawing room!" Maura sighs and pushes to her feet. She doesn't say a single word to Calla about time management, though they both know she would be right.
There isn't much to see, going from the kitchen up the stairs and around the corner to Blue's bedroom. There's the hallway leading down to the open-doored drawing room, affording a glimpse of too many armchairs and the heavy table sitting in the middle of the room, draped with a lace tablecloth and crowned with a crystal ball. The vibrant wallpaper lining the wall of the staircase itself, a bunch of doors atop the landing, and then Blue's room.
Above her twin bed, shoved into the corner of the room, hangs a canopy made out of sheer scarves of every conceivable shade of blue. Along the white wall next to it, the shapes of birch trees have been sketched out with black crayons. They stretch all the way from the floor to the ceiling, an easy clue that there was adult involvement in that particular art project. Against the other white wall, sits a somewhat rickety bookshelf filled with books that were obviously second hand to start with. Their backs cracked and creased or dustjackets torn. The other two walls are the same powder blue as the exterior of the house. One of the blue walls butting up against the white an obvious few brush strokes away from being finished. A stretch of fading paint against the white showing exactly where they ran out of paint.
Blue throws her book on top of her bed with little regard for where it lands, and goes to sit on the round and thick carpet in the middle of the warped floor boards. She spreads open Jack's journal and gives him an almost expectant look which falters quickly when she realizes--
"I forgot to grab pencils. I have colored ones on my desk." An easy point over towards the white IKEA desk, the top of which is covered with water color splotches from various art projects. "Can you grab them?"
Since she's already down and all.
"They're in a rectangular tin. I painted leaves all over it."
no subject
Mostly irrelevant, that is, except for all the vibes this house is putting off. It feels magical in ways Jack can't quite pinpoint. Maybe it's hiding in her sketches of trees, maybe it's in the canopy of scarves, or in the drying herbs. Maybe it's hidden in the furniture. It's definitely written in the crystal ball, that one's kind of a given.
As though by natural magnetism, he's drawn toward her bookshelf — but manages to stop two steps in and rip his eyes from it at her request. It gets one last second-glance, and then he obediently grabs the painted tin (also harboring a faint feeling of magic by virtue of aesthetic) to bring it to her.
Impulse suggests he sit down across from her, but then he realizes he wouldn't actually be able to see the contents of the journal if he did. He moves beside her instead, carefully and quietly lowering himself down cross-legged, close enough that their knees brush, and sets the tin on the floor in front of her.
"Can you even read any of the words anymore?" He asks, clearly pessimistic about the notion.
no subject
There is certainly no magic to the tin of colored pencils. The tin itself was bought from an army surplus store, and the leaves are just acrylic paint. Blue leans forward and works the lid free. It sticks a little before coming loose and revealing the color pencils within. It's obvious by length which ones are her favorites. The blues and greens are short and stubby while pinks and reds stretch across the length of the tin. She sets the lid on the floor next to the box, and nudges the box towards Jack so he can pick the color he likes.
"On the bottom half of the page they're really clear," Blue says, spreading her fingers over the open spread of the journal as if smoothing it down might reveal more of the faint pencil marks on the top half of the pages. She leans forward, squinting at the paper. The words aren't as illegible as she first thought. Now that she's read Jack's letters, it's easier to see the shapes of words in the slanted and scrawled lines.
From across the hallway comes a loud blast of music. Not quite the angry music of Jack's foster home, perhaps, but certainly not the soft and round tones of Dolly Parton and Elvis Presley from down below.
"Persephone," Calla's voice rings out, sharp like a bell. "Headphones!"
There's no shouted reply, but the music cuts off as abruptly as it started.
By the lack of reaction on Blue's part, perhaps it's obvious that this is a common occurrence.
"Do you want me to take notes or try to read?" she glances over at him, the hand closest to him hovering halfway across the knee that nearly touches hers.
no subject
He pretends he doesn't visibly startle at the sudden noise; maybe if he plays it off she'll think it was a cough or something rather than that he's a total scaredy-cat (he's trying to stop calling himself a pussy, something his dad drilled into his head for a long time; advice from his social worker).
"Take notes, like... I read it to you, and you write some parts down?" Which seems like an intimidating prospect, but he soon realizes the alternative is awkwardly sitting there silently while she struggles to read his crappy handwriting. "...I guess we could do that, but if it starts to get annoying or you don't... like it, you have to tell me, okay? My reading voice or the story or the writing it down or... anything."
He's stepping outside of his comfort zone in so many little ways today it's a wonder he hasn't given himself some kind of hernia.
But a lot of it has been good. Rewarding, positive reinforcement. If it keeps going well, today might crack his shell a little. Not fully peel it away like his cast tomorrow, but... the start of something.
no subject
(As of yet, the only meaning of the word 'pussy' that Blue knows is 'cat'. It'll change quick enough. Elementary school has a tendency to teach more than core curriculum. But once she does, she will argue that it's a dumb way to call someone a coward. And also that there's little similarity between a cat and, well, that. In essence, she will agree with Jack's social worker that it's not a word he should use for himself.)
Blue nods at the question. It'll be faster if one of them reads and the other takes notes. Though she supposes she could just sit and watch him work through it on its own, but that feels like a waste. And also like she'd get bored real quick. She's never been one to sit idly and watching someone else do something.
"I'll tell you," she promises with all the solemnity of an eight year old that's just a little too old for her years. "I have a really nice notebook with a cool tree on it. We can use that, if you want."
Pencil still in hand, she clambers to her feet and dashes over to the desk. She rummages around in one of the drawers for a moment before pulling out the notebook she has in mind. She's been saving it for something special, but being a vessel for the nearly ruined stories of her new (first) best friend seems pretty special.
On the way back, she pauses at the edge of the thick and round rug, and holds the notebook out for inspection.
"Persephone drew the tree for me. She's really good at drawing. We don't have to use it. But we can if you want. Just probably shouldn't bring it to school."
no subject
Actually seeing it cements the decision beyond the shadow of a doubt.
"That is a really cool tree," he murmurs; he was expecting something a little more... cartoonish isn't necessarily the right word, but definitely less real. He prefers this by a mile, even though the other way would have been fine too.
As far as not taking it to school... Some obvious, quick mental math, and "Could we keep it here? I mean... there's a lot of stories, it might take more than one day to rewrite them all. So if you want to, if you don't get bored, we could... leave it here for next time. If! You want to. We don't have to, so don't say yes if you get bored or don't- don't want me to come over or something."
This plan has the obvious benefit of keeping the book safe from Beaux or anybody else with poor intentions, but more than that... secretly, it's an excuse to come over again. It's a good reason, provided she doesn't outright dislike hanging out with him. She can keep it safe until it's all filled out, instead of him carrying it back and forth through the woods.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)